As I walk the road of life, I’ve discovered that finding a partner to marry is something that I cannot choose myself. I can choose to adore someone, but it is not sure that he will choose me. However, the one person who I never expected to marry is now my partner in this life.
Today, two friends of mine called me up. One said: “I’m gonna get married.” I was surprised, saying: “Really? You just met him only a few days ago!” She said: “We were destined to meet, and I don’t want to miss this chance.” The other called and said: “We’ve split up.” I felt astonished: “You’ve been in love for over two years. Why?” She said: “No reason. We were destined to break up.”
Marriage is indeed a really wondrous thing! It is not accidental, but is down to destiny, which people have no choice over. The calls from my friends reminded me of my own marriage. In my twenties, I was full of fantasies about marriage, wishing to find my Prince Charming. Unluckily, at that time my whole face was covered with acne. So the better ones didn’t like me; similarly, the worse ones were not my cup of tea. Until one day, I met a man and we fell in love with each other at first sight. We both suffered from acne so neither of us looked down on the other. Nevertheless, a problem surfaced when we talked about marriage. I was an introverted girl who was not good at speaking, while his parents like girls who are sociable. As a result, I did not meet their requirements. No matter the deep affection we had, we could do nothing in the face of the opposition from his parents. It was impossible for him to leave his parents and elope far away with me; equally, I was not willing to make him turn against his family. There was nothing for us to do but to break up.
The following days tears bathed my face every day, as if I’d lost my heart and soul. I didn’t dare to believe in anyone anymore, because those solemn pledges of love we’d made before had been powerless when we faced with reality. Movies and novels always show that the lovers finally get married, but that’s a lie. I intended not to marry ever. I was so heart-broken that I even wanted to die when my mood was particularly rotten.
Seeing me like this, my mother, a believer in God, enlightened me: “Silly child, marriage is decreed by fate. You both aren’t destined to be together. Look at your father and me, at first I didn’t like him, but we have been leading a harmonious life together for over two decades, haven’t we? Fate is determined by Heaven. If you are not destined to start a family with someone, then you will fail to stay together no matter how hard you try. Come on, let’s read the words of God.”
God says, “Since the creation of the world I have begun to predestine and select this group of people, namely, you today. Your temperament, caliber, appearance, stature, family in which you were born, your job and your marriage, the entirety of you, even the color of your hair and your skin, and the time of your birth were all arranged by My hands. Even the things you do and the people you meet every single day are arranged by My hands, not to mention the fact that bringing you into My presence today is actually My arrangement. Do not throw yourself into disorder; you should proceed calmly” (“The Seventy-fourth Utterance”).
I couldn’t help questioning: “Who arranges everything?”
My mother said seriously: “You silly child, these are the words of God. Without doubt, it’s God who presides over and arranges everything.”
I thought: “After reading these words, I feel quite at ease. It turns out that everything is predestined by God. Since He has given me this fate, how can I break away from it? Who can oppose Heaven, or fight against destiny? I’d better obey God’s predestination, be brave and face it, accept the reality and get on with my life.”
One day, several months later, my mother said to me: “Do you still remember the boy whom you were introduced to last year? His parents didn’t like the girl who was originally dating him, so their relationship failed. You two should meet again.” I agreed, and the outcome was perfect. We got along so well that we took our marriage vows in the winter of the next year.
Later I asked my husband: “Why did you choose me?” He replied: “It was fate.”
I read these words of God: “One encounters many people in one’s life, but no one knows who will become one’s partner in marriage. Though everyone has their own ideas and personal stances on the subject of marriage, no one can foresee who will finally become their true other half, and one’s own notions count for little. After meeting a person you like, you can pursue that person; but whether he or she is interested in you, whether he or she is able to become your partner, is not yours to decide. The object of your affections is not necessarily the person with whom you will be able to share your life; and meanwhile someone you never expected quietly enters your life and becomes your partner, becomes the most important element in your fate, your other half, to whom your fate is inextricably bound.” “Marriage is an important juncture in a person’s life. It is the product of a person’s fate, a crucial link in one’s fate; it is not founded on any person’s individual volition or preferences, and is not influenced by any external factors, but is completely determined by the fates of the two parties, by the Creator’s arrangements and predeterminations regarding the fates of the couple” (“God Himself, the Unique III”). In the past people often said the word “fate.” Now I have found the answer: It’s God who controls fate. Marriage is determined by two people’s fate, and has long since been predestined by God. What’s more, it isn’t decided by human efforts at all. Regardless of the external circumstances or personal factors, no matter what accidents will happen, since it is predestined by God, marriage will never be affected by surrounding circumstances, and this is God’s unique authority.
My friend, now you are probably worried and concerned about your marriage. Actually, you don’t have to be, for God has arranged everything for us. As long as we’s sovereignty, rely sincerely upon Him and submit to His manipulations and arrangements, we will no longer feel upset about our life and marriage, but rather, we will face them calmly.
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