The Bitterness of the Romantic Love Taught Me to Obey God’s Sovereignty

Jieni, a post-90s boy, liked watching soap opera very much. Every time when he saw the plots that the heroine ignores the parental objections and abandons her high status to run away with the hero for the sake of love or that the hero puts aside his honorable status and willingly lives a humble life with the heroine, he would be deeply moved and also feel delighted for their happy ending. The passionate, tortuous, inseparable, and unswervingly loyal love stories shown in the soap opera engraved an indelible imprint within the heart of Jieni, the ignorant boy.

Although Jieni knew that the love in real life was entirely different from that in the soap opera, he still expected that there would be a love story in which he was the hero …

Through his work, Jieni met his first girlfriend, from whom this immature young man tasted love for the first time. He gave all his heart to her and took great care of her. Whatever the girl wanted to eat, he would buy for her even though it required him to travel a long distance. He cherished the girl as a treasure and thought that she was the one with whom he could spend his life.

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Later, Jieni was on a business trip for three months. During that period, he kept in touch with the girl and sometimes chatted with her late at night. He also felt a bit tired because of the lack of sleep and the heavy work in the day time, but in order to maintain their relationship, he willingly made such efforts.

But not long after, Jieni suddenly received a phone call from the girl. She said, “Let’s break up.” In that instant, Jieni froze and then asked, “Break up? Why?” “You know, the long-distance thing just doesn’t work. We aren’t suitable for each other. We’d better be ordinary friends,” she said simply. As thus, the relationship lasting more than one year ended so easily. But it was Jieni’s first love, and he paid so much for it, so he was deeply hurt and felt extremely sorrowful as if his heart was torn. He cried for three consecutive days and couldn’t help thinking: Why is it so difficult to attain the perfect love I dream of? Can’t my great efforts overcome the time and the distance? However, it was precisely because of the time and the distance that the beautiful love he yearned for was shattered.

After that, Jieni resigned and found another job in his former city where he met his second girlfriend. The failure of his last affection left him a deep scar in his heart, so he dared not long for the beautiful love in the soap opera. But as he contacted with the girl in every day’s work, he fell in love with her unknowingly. While dating with the girl, Jieni cared for her wholeheartedly. However, not long afterward, the girl’s best friend told him, “Actually, she has been concealing from you that she has a boyfriend working in another place.” When Jieni heard this, his heart was pierced again. He was very angry, wanting to put down his work in hand at once and go to the girl to ask her why. Later, Jieni met the girl and they had a talk face-to-face. Turns out that he was just a substitute in her eyes.

The hurt caused by this relationship made Jieni completely disheartened and perplexed. He began to eat, drink, smoke, go to KTV or surf the Internet with his friends every day, abandoning himself to vice. At that time, there was a singer on the Internet whose songs were very popular. Jieni also liked them very much because he would identify with these songs every time when he listened to them. He felt that his heart was the same as the singer’s, cold and dark. Whenever he walked on the street alone at night, he would think of the failures and deception he had experienced in pursuing love. Seeing the cars and pedestrians passing by, he felt himself a wandering child who lived helplessly in pain.

One day, his father asked him whether he wanted to go abroad. He thought, “I want to leave this heartrending city. Maybe after I go abroad, I can forget the sad past and will not feel so painful.” So, he went abroad. In the beginning, he felt that everything was so fresh to him, and he put all his heart into his work every day. Gradually, the past faded from his memory.

Later, his old classmate invited him into a WeChat group. As he chatted and interacted with his classmates frequently, he made the acquaintance of his third girlfriend. They were of the same occupation and shared common topics in both work and daily life. Although they were far away from each other, they could have a video chat at any time every day. Gradually, Jieni fell in love again. For the girl, he even gave up the chance of staying abroad to work for the long term and was intent on returning home to marry her and build their own family.

That day when he returned home, Jieni told this matter to his mother and she then read a passage of God’s word to him, “Marriage is a key event in any person’s life; it is the time when one starts truly to assume various kinds of responsibilities, begins gradually to fulfill various kinds of missions. People harbor many illusions about marriage before they experience it themselves, and all these illusions are beautiful. Women imagine that their other halves will be Prince Charming, and men imagine that they will marry Snow White. These fantasies go to show that every person has certain requirements for marriage, their own set of demands and standards. … One encounters many people in one’s life, but no one knows who will become one’s partner in marriage. Though everyone has their own ideas and personal stances on the subject of marriage, no one can foresee who will finally become their true other half, and one’s own notions count for little. After meeting a person you like, you can pursue that person; but whether he or she is interested in you, whether he or she is able to become your partner, is not yours to decide” (“God Himself, the Unique III”).

Jieni was skeptical of God’s word. He firmly believed in his heart that this girl was his Ms. Right and that he wouldn’t lose this love as before. Finally, he decided to go to the girl’s city to meet her, because in the days when he could not see her, he felt that a day seemed like a year.

The night before Jieni left, his mother told him, “We can’t see through people’s heart. No one knows what will happen and no one can help you when you arrive there. Marriage is in God’s hand. You should rely on God and pray to God more.” With his mother’s exhortation, Jieni arrived at the city and met the girl whom he had missed for so long. But unexpectedly, the girl was pretty cold toward him. While they were having dinner, she was absorbed in watching teleplay with her cellphone and seldom spoke unless Jieni asked her. At that time, the atmosphere was pretty embarrassing and Jieni felt that they were like strangers. They did not at all have the feeling during the video chat that they found each other congenial and regretted they hadn’t met sooner. He felt lost again in his heart.

The next morning, Jieni left for his journey home. In that instant when the train moved, his eyes brimmed with tears. This three-month relationship ended in coldness and embarrassment as thus.

After returning home, Jieni recalled: These years, I kept pursuing the romantic love, but always encountered setbacks. I could give my true heart and give up everything for love and marriage, but my efforts were repaid with hurt time after time. His heart was totally shattered and he felt discouraged and disappointed in love and marriage.

At the time, he opened the book of God’s word and then saw God say, “From the moment you come crying into this world, you begin to perform your duty. You assume your role in the plan of God and in the ordination of God. You begin the journey of life. Whatever your background and whatever the journey ahead of you, none can escape the orchestration and arrangement that Heaven has in store, and none are in control of their destiny, for only He who rules over all things is capable of such work. … and all the life of man is beheld in the eyes of God. Regardless of whether or not you believe this, any and all things, living or dead, will shift, change, renew, and disappear according to God’s thoughts. This is how God rules over all things” (“God Is the Source of Man’s Life”).

Seeing God’s word, Jieni understood: I always want to control my marriage, pursue the love I desire according to my own will, and maintain the affection by my own ways, but I always fail. This is because that all of everything is ruled over and arranged by God’s hand. Now, I truly feel that I’m too insignificant and I can’t determine everything. Be it love or marriage, none of them can be determined by me. After his experiences, Jieni believed: My fate in life cannot be controlled by me; my love and marriage can even less be determined by me. Just as God’s word says, “After meeting a person you like, you can pursue that person; but whether he or she is interested in you, whether he or she is able to become your partner, is not yours to decide” (“God Himself, the Unique III”).

It turns out that all these things are controlled and ruled over by God.

Jieni also saw that God’s word says, “For example, if you were watching a television show, what sort of things in it could change your view? Would what the performers said, the words themselves, be able to corrupt people? (No.) What sort of things would corrupt people? It would be the core thoughts and content of the show, which would represent the director’s views, and the information carried in these views could sway people’s hearts and minds. Is that right?” (“God Himself, the Unique V”).

Satan uses this method to invent, fabricate and play out some stories, and it especially deceives these simple-minded, brainless adolescents. Have you been influenced at all? (Yes.) Is it then easy to remove and cleanse yourselves of this poison? Once you have been influenced, these things enter your thoughts and become a kind of poison. You only need to fail to see through this poison and you will then be unable to give it up completely; if you are influenced by it for one day, you will be disturbed and controlled by it for that one day. Do you believe this? (Yes.) So how can this matter be resolved? Is it easy to resolve? Do you wish to relinquish these things? (Yes.) How much do you wish it? You sometimes think: ‘I feel a little unwilling to part with these things. Why do I have to relinquish them? It’s great to have these things and we had a hard time getting them instilled inside ourselves. They aren’t poison at all, are they?’ With this thinking you won’t be able to relinquish them. In reality, it is that you want to hold onto them; it’s not that you cannot relinquish them or that you find it difficult. This has stumped you, hasn’t it? It’s not easy. So while your stature is immature, you must do your utmost to give those things that can rot your heart and poison you a wide berth. Why is that? Because you currently have no discernment, are foolish and very brash and arrogant. The positive things equipped within your heart are so few, and you have no reality of the truth. In spiritual terminology, you don’t have life or stature” (“Young People Should See Through the Evil Trends of the World”).

From God’s word, Jieni knew: Satan uses the imaginary stories in the teleplays, such as the love story of Romeo and Juliette, to implant the viewpoint like “Love is above all” into my heart. The pledges of eternal love that I keep yearning for are merely my fantasies instilled by Satan and are unrealistic. Thinking back to my personal experiences, when I pursued the romantic love in the soap opera, I was constrained by the beautiful fantasies and then lived in self-deception; when I lost my love, I abandoned myself to vice, fell into sadness and confusion, lived helplessly in pain every day, and couldn’t find the direction of my life. Now, I come to understand that I have been directed by Satan’s poison of, “Love is above all.” So, I kept pursuing the so-called romantic love and even could give up everything for the love I dreamed of. Yet I gained nothing but hurt every time and tasted all the bitterness at last. Aren’t these all the afflictions brought to me by the wrong viewpoints of Satan?

Jieni wanted to free himself from such pains. He knew that only when he came before God and read God’s word could he see through the base means of Satan afflicting people. So then, he began to have meetings, read God’s word, and sing hymns to praise God with his brothers and sisters. As he read God’s word every day and understood more truth little by little, he didn’t live in fantasies anymore. Instead, he was willing to believe in God’s sovereignty and entrust his marriage into God’s hand, letting God arrange it for him, for he believed that what God arranges is all for his good. As thus, Jieni no longer feels sad and sorrowful but lives happily every day, because he has found the direction he should pursue in his life from God. He is grateful for God’s great salvation to him.

By Chen Jie

» Read more on our Faith and Life page about Marriage Testimonies, or in the recommended articles below:

After Husband Betrayed Me, God Guided Me Through the Pain

God’s Guidance Frees Her From the Pain of Her Marriage’s Collapse

How She Resists Temptation When She Bumps Into Her First Boyfriend Again

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