Our Family Conflicts Were Resolved This Way

By the Grace of God, I Walked the Way of Believing in God

Since childhood I was in poor health, so I was cosseted in my family. My sister was 3 years younger than me but I never cared for her and I always fought with her to get the better no matter what nice food or clothes there were. After I got married, I often had severe quarrels with my husband over trifles until I was red in the face. If I couldn’t have an advantage, I would not talk with him for several days, nor would my husband talk to me. We two kept a stalemate in this way. In such family circumstances, I felt quite upset. I myself tried to solve these problems, but I never succeeded.

Later, I accepted God’s work in the last days. From God’s word, I came to understand that God comes to work in the flesh so that He can change our corrupt disposition and purify us from our corruption in order that we can live out the likeness of a real man and in the blessing of God. I felt that there was hope in the latter half of my life. I made up my mind secretly that I would follow God properly. As long as I could have my corrupt disposition changed, I would have a harmonious family. Afterward, I read God’s words every day and did as God told me to. When I had different ideas with my husband at home, I consciously gave up my ideas and followed him. Some time later, the quarrels between my husband and me got fewer, and I thought I had some changes. Just when I was self-contented, God went on arranging circumstances to change me.

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God’s Word Resolved the Tensions Between the In-laws and Me

In 2015, my son made a girlfriend. After they went out together for a period of time, there was a meeting between the girl’s parents and us. At dinner, when talking about their marriage, the girl’s mother demanded that the house I was then living in be used as the children’s wedding house. Her reason was that it was near her daughter’s company and it would be convenient for her to go to work. She asked me to live in the house tens of miles away, which made me quite upset. I wouldn’t like to move out at all because the flat I was then living in was on the lower floor, which made it convenient for me to go in and out. On the other hand, it was near both my parents’ and my parents-in-law’s home, so it was convenient for me to take care of them. For the sake of my own benefit, I began to flaunt the other house. I said that, though the flat was a little farther, each piece of furniture was new and it was designed and furnished according to the style of young men, and therefore it was the best for them to live in. Unexpectedly, my husband promised to empty our flat and refurnish it so that it could be used as my son’s wedding house. Having no choice, I had to acquiesce.

However, when I got home, I began to quarrel with my husband, venting all my dissatisfaction with my in-law on him. I complained that he was a yes-man and didn’t care for ourselves. Moreover, I complained that my in-law was too much and too strong-willed. Owing to that, I didn’t talk to my husband for several days. As soon as I thought that I had no control over my own house, but my in-law had the final say, which damaged my face, I felt rather wronged and anguished. Without any help, I prayed to God, “Oh, God! This matter makes me quite upset. I had thought to give the flat farther from my house to my son for his marriage, but out of my expectation, my in-law is so arrogant. It is we who bought the house, why is it up to her? I am unable to accept it at all. But if I contend with her, I will not be like a believer in God. If not, I’m not willing to give it up. What’s more, my husband doesn’t take my side. It brings me more pain. What should I do? I beg You to help me and enlighten me, to let me understand Your intentions and find a path of practice.”

After praying, I thought of a passage of God’s word, “Cruel, brutal mankind! The conniving and intrigue, the jostling with each other, the scramble for reputation and fortune, the mutual slaughter—when will it ever end? God has spoken hundreds of thousands of words, yet no one has come to their senses. They act for the sake of their families, and sons and daughters, for their careers, prospects, status, vanity, and money, for the sake of clothes, for food and the flesh—whose actions are truly for the sake of God? Even among those whose actions are for the sake of God, there are but few who know God. How many do not act for the sake of their own interests? How many do not oppress and discriminate against others for the sake of maintaining their own status?” (“The Wicked Must Be Punished”). Every word of God pierced my heart. Weren’t these words judging me? I was a believer in God, but I strove for fame and wealth just like those unbelievers. I made a fuss over every tiny detail for my own interests, took no account of others at all and showed no consideration for others. I had read so many God’s words but I had not practiced any. I had grieved God too much! I thought about the matter of the house. When what my in-law had done damaged my benefit and my husband wasn’t on my side, I thought that they didn’t take me seriously and made me lose face. In order to safeguard my interests and save my face, I made a quarrel with my husband. Now after reading God’s words, I felt regretted. So I had a prayer to repent, “Oh God! I am wrong. About the house, I contended with my relative and quarreled with my husband so that I could protect my benefit and face. I wouldn’t like to do so any more. I’d like to give up my interests and stop conflicting with them to get rid of the shackles of Satan sooner. ” After the prayer, I thought that I should live out a normal humanity and have tolerance, patience and understanding to others. This is the way for me to be relaxed and to feel no pain. Then I offered to make a discussion with my husband about moving the house. After that, the relation among my husband, my in-law and me became fine again. I knew in mind that it was the result achieved by God’s words.

God’s Words Settled the Conflict Between My Daughter-in-law and Me

In the fall of 2016, my son got married. While our whole family were forgetting ourselves in the happiness, at about nine o’clock on the third night after their marriage, my husband received a phone from my daughter-in-law. There happened a conflict between my son and my daughter-in-law. We hurriedly drove there. Only when we went into the room and talked with them did we know they quarreled about the property ownership certificate. My daughter-in-law asked to have the house registered in the joint names of herself and my son, but my son didn’t agree. Thus the conflict started. In order to relieve their conflict, I said, “Having just finished the wedding for you, we are all very tired. Let’s discuss it in a few days. ” Then we returned to our home.

That night I turned over and over and couldn’t sleep at all, thinking: It is unreasonable for my daughter-in-law to make such a demand. Her parents are so strong-willed. Is she not the same as her parents? We have such bad luck. Why are we relate to such a family … The more I thought of it, the angrier I became and I almost didn’t sleep all that night. The next day, my husband told me, “Maybe we should meet our daughter-in-law’s demand, as long as they don’t quarrel and have a good life …” Hardly had I heard this when I got terribly angry and I began to roar at him, “Don’t think in such a simple way! If we do just as what she asks us to, she’ll get an inch in the future. We bought the flat and furnished it, while she spent no penny but wants to have the house registered in her name and in the name of my son as co-owner. Does it sound reasonable? If it is known by others, how will they think of us? Where could we put our face? Won’t they look down upon us? How dare I show my face to others? Besides, it won’t be probable that such a daughter-in-law will live long with our son. If they do get divorced, she will possess half of the property of the flat. By then, as the Chinese saying goes, ‘The hen has flown away and the eggs have been broken.’ All is lost.” Seeing I was very angry, my husband didn’t say more. But when I found that he didn’t agree with me, I got even more angry. Losing control of my anger, I vented all my complaints on him. I sobbed out how difficult it had been to manage to get enough money to buy the flat. The more I talked about it, the more I thought I couldn’t meet my daughter-in-law’s demand. When I was suffering for it, it came to my mind that I was a believer in God, so I knelt to God and, weeping bitterly, I prayed, “Oh God! Now I have a difficult problem and I don’t know what to do. My daughter-in-law asked to have the house registered in her name as co-owner. I think she is out of line and I can’t agree to her demand. If I don’t agree, the conflict between us will be intensified. But if I do, I think I will lose out and my interests will suffer losses. I have no idea what to do with it. I beg You to help me out of the trouble.”

Then I once again flipped through God’s words and saw the following, “What does Satan use to keep man penned in and controlled? (Fame and gain.) So Satan uses fame and gain to control man’s thoughts until all they can think of is fame and gain. They struggle for fame and gain, suffer hardships for fame and gain, endure humiliation for fame and gain, sacrifice everything they have for fame and gain, and they will make any judgment or decision to both maintain and obtain fame and gain. In this way, Satan binds man with invisible shackles. These shackles are borne on people’s bodies, and they have not the strength nor courage to throw them off. So people trudge ever onward in great difficulty, unknowingly bearing these shackles. For the sake of this fame and gain, mankind becomes estranged from God and betrays Him. With each passing generation, mankind becomes more and more wicked, more and more darkened, and so in this way one generation after another is destroyed in the fame and gain of Satan. Looking now at Satan’s actions, what exactly are its sinister motives? It’s clear now, isn’t it? Is Satan not abominable? (Yes!) Maybe today you still cannot see through Satan’s sinister motives because you think that there is no life without fame and gain. You think that, if people leave fame and gain behind, then they will no longer be able to see the way ahead, no longer be able to see their goals, their future becomes dark, dim and gloomy. But, slowly, you will all one day recognize that fame and gain are monstrous shackles that Satan uses to bind man. Until the day you come to recognize this, you will thoroughly resist Satan’s control and thoroughly resist the shackles Satan brings to bind you. When the time comes for you to wish to throw off all the things Satan has instilled in you, you will then make a clean break with Satan and will also truly loathe all that Satan has brought to you. Only then will you have a real love and yearning for God; only then can you walk the right road of life in pursuit of the truth”(“God Himself, the Unique VI”).

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After reading this passage of God’s words, I was suddenly awakened from a dream. Weren’t these words right directed at me? They were so practical. Was I not entangled with fame and benefit? So fame and gain were shackles that Satan brought to us and they harmed us heavily. No wonder I lived in such pain. It was fame and gain that Satan used to trick and hurt me. For the property ownership certificate, I could not eat or sleep, and I got angry and annoyed, complaining about everything. I thought I would lose face before my relatives and friends if the name of my daughter-in-law is added to the property ownership certificate. On the other hand, I was afraid my daughter-in-law would get half of the house property in case she divorced my son, then I would be faced with the losses of my interests. Wasn’t it fame and gain that brought pain to me? I was almost a slave of fame and gain. It was fame and gain that bound me and made me have no normal humanity, much less the love of my families. Thinking of this, the resentment in my heart faded much. God’s words were so powerful that they made my heart clear. The more I contemplated these words the more I became convinced. Gradually, I was not angry any more and I’d like to break free from the shackles of fame and gain, getting rid of them. When I decided to do as God’s words asked me to do, I seemed to put down a load, feeling relaxed all over and matchlessly released in heart. When he saw me looking relaxed, my husband said in surprise, “You do seem like a different person from the one you were two hours ago.” I could not control my feelings of excitement and said, “It is God’s words that have untied the knot in my heart. I have thought things through. I’ll meet her demand. ” Hearing what I said, my husband got very glad. In this way, we two offered to send the property ownership certificate to my daughter-in-law. Beyond my expectation, putting it on the table, my daughter-in-law said excitedly, “Thank you for your tolerance and generosity, mom.” I said with emotion, “I myself don’t have such generosity. It is all God’s words that achieve such an effect on me.”

Up to now, my daughter-in-law hasn’t yet gone to deal with the property ownership certificate, nor has she made quarrels with my son. Our families are very harmonious. It is God’s words that lead us and reconcile the conflicts between us. Nowadays, I really can’t leave God’s word. I find there are a lot of mysteries in God’s words. Many are the foundation of our existence and the guide for our conduct. Many of the problems in our life can be solved by practicing God’s word. We can see many families, who don’t believe in God, live in the disputes of the family, and quarrel constantly, all living in pain, just like one of my classmates. One day, calling me in a weeping tone, she talked about her family conflicts. After her father passed away, she and her sisters made fierce disputes about the house. Hanging up, I thought I was extremely lucky to receive God’s great salvation. It is God who uses His words to save me from the shackles of fame and gain and from Satan’s harm. If God had not saved me, I would be the same as those unbelievers, still struggling against fame and gain, and for the sake of fame and gain, my families would become enemies, struggle in the pain and can’t couldn’t live at ease. I thank God from my heart for His salvation and guidance, allowing our families to live a warm and happy life.

By Liu Chongsheng

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