Adoring Science, I Became a Nominal Christian
I had been a teacher for so many years, and dreamt to be a scientist under the influence of scientific education in my childhood, so that I judged everything in a scientific way when I was grown up. The satanic poison “Science is above everything” had been an inseparable part in my life, I could not live without science. I often subscribed such newspapers as Youth Science and Technology News, and Science and Technology Learning News, taking the scientific way for reference to educate and manage students when working at school; and I would subscribe Countryside Science and Technology News to focus on valuable techniques used to cultivate crops and ensure the harvest.
During the summer holiday of 2007, my mother told me about belief in God, in my opinion believing in God was superstition, so I evaded this issue by the excuse of having no time. While my mother always mentioned this matter in front of me, I pretended to accept God but only read books at my leisure time to avoid annoying her. In the winter of 2010, I started to attend gatherings and had church life, but I followed God nominally, believing in Him in a muddle-headed way. Not until I got a serious disease in 2014 did I realize the real nature of science and admit that our fate is in God’s hands, and that God is the One who can save us and give us new life.
Serious Disease Has Been Cured Under the Care of God
In September of 2014, I felt uncomfortable and went to the first-class hospital at grade 3 in my city to be tested for considering the less-advanced medical facilities and low level medical technique in township. I was diagnosed as severe ascites due to liver cirrhosis, and the doctor blamed us for coming too late, which made me sad. However, my husband comforted me by saying, “He is just the one that makes electrocardiogram, not the doctor. I have consulted the chief doctor who is the expert on this field, he said your disease could be cured by doing an intervention operation. Nowadays, the science and medical facility are so advanced, and doctors own superb medical skills too, even cancer can be cured, not to mention your disease. Because you suffer from severe anemia, the operation is postponed temporarily, what you should do now is compliance to treatment and not think too much!” After being comforted by my husband, I thought: Nowadays, the science and technology were developing so fast, and it surprised me indeed that the intervention operation even can be done in a municipal hospital. I have already heard that this operation is high-tech surgery in medical field, so it appears that doctors in this hospital own delicate medical skill. With addition of accurate examination by using first-class medical equipment, my disease can be cured surely. By thinking in this way, I felt much more relaxed and decided to comply with treatment.
When I got up one day, my body was so swelled that my hands couldn’t be held and feet couldn’t stand steadily, I can only lay on the bed, which lasted for three days.
“I can walk when I came to hospital at first, but why is my disease becoming more serious?” I wondered. So I consulted the chief doctor when he came to my ward, after knowing that I had taken traditional Chinese medicine, he responded without asking the time of taking medicine, “What you are suffering now is caused by the medicine you have taken, be patient.” I thought, I took traditional Chinese medicine three months ago for curing poor appetite, but how can the effect last until now? Though I don’t know so much of medical science, the response of the doctor was too ridiculous to believe, and great image of him had disappeared in my heart. Frowned, I started to doubt whether the doctor can cure my disease. At this time, it occurred to me that I was coming late for being cured, the words from that one who measured electrocardiogram for me, and I felt so disappointed and helpless, wondering, “Can’t my disease be cured? Did the doctor lie to me to reduce my pressure?”
At this time, I thought of the fellowship by a sister at gathering, “God is almighty and real, when you encounter issues, as long as you cry out to Him in earnest, He will hear your prayer and open up a path for you.” So I prayed to God immediately, “God, I only verbally acknowledged You, but I didn’t believe in Your almighty dominion while advocated science only. I am suffering from a serious disease which has worsened after being treated. Almighty God, please save me!” I prayed to God every day from that day on, it was amazing that my disease changed from day to day. The doctor let me leave hospital on the seventeenth day, and reminded me to come to the hospital for surgery after recovering for some time. I offered thanks and praise to God continually in my heart.
Experiencing Illness, I Saw God’s Salvation
I had some true understanding of God’s almightiness and authority after experiencing this illness, and could not be separated from God. I was willing to confide my difficulties to Him, and became more positive and proactive in praying, attending gatherings, and doing my part of duty than before. When I was practicing spiritual devotions one day, I read the words of God, “it is God’s authority and God’s mind that give rise to these laws; they will shift and change according to His thoughts, and these shifts and changes all occur or disappear for the sake of His plan. Take epidemics, for example. They break out without warning, no one knows their origins or the exact reasons why they happen, and whenever an epidemic reaches a certain place, those who are doomed cannot escape calamity. Human science understands epidemics to be caused by the spread of vicious or harmful microbes, and their speed, range, and method of transmission cannot be predicted or controlled by human science. Though humanity resists them by every means possible, they cannot control which people or animals are inevitably affected when epidemics break out. The only thing that human beings can do is try to prevent them, resist them, and research them. But no one knows the root causes that explain the beginning or ending of any individual epidemic, and no one can control them. Faced with the rise and spread of an epidemic, the first measure humans take is to develop a vaccine, but often the epidemic dies out on its own before the vaccine is ready. Why do epidemics die out? Some say that the germs have been brought under control, others say they die out because of changes in the seasons…. As to whether these wild speculations hold water, science can offer no explanation, give no precise answer. What humanity faces is not only these speculations but mankind’s lack of understanding and fear of the epidemics. No one knows, in the final analysis, why epidemics begin or why they end. Because humanity has faith only in science, relies entirely upon it, but does not recognize the Creator’s authority or accept His sovereignty, they will never have an answer” (“God Himself, the Unique III”).
I understood from God’s word that, God is in control of everything: from the massive to the microscopic, from the stars in the universe to the microorganisms that cannot be seen with the naked eye or beings that exist in other forms. Though all the scientists of the world research God’s work for their whole life, they can’t fathom God’s sovereignty and dominion of all things in the universe. Faced with the rise of an epidemic suddenly, we could only feel panic and afraid. Often the epidemic dies out on its own before scientists make any achievement of their research. Science is so pale and weak in front of God’s authority, but so deceptive to ignorant human. I didn’t pay attention to read God’s words for believing and adoring science, but after practically experiencing God’s salvation, witnessing God’s deeds, when reading God’s words seriously, I felt indeed the words of God are so practical, which are not possessed nor spoken by man, I was utterly convinced. From now on, I would attach importance to reading God’s words and experiencing God’s work, and I would not possess a muddled belief.
One day, my husband said to me, “You have been recovering quite well from illness in the last one year, so let’s go to hospital for the surgery.” I thought, my husband can work with ease after the surgery, so I decided to accept it. Then, I came before God and prayed to Him for the surgery, willing to submit to the orchestrations and arrangements of God.
The doctor advised me to do a medical examination before surgery when I arrived at the hospital. After checking the result, the doctor said, “There is no necessity for you to do the surgery according to the inspection result which identifies your various indicators are normal. Patients would do surgery when they don’t have other choices.” I was so excited for the words of the doctor, offering my thanks and praise to God, and felt that God accompanies me all the time like a loving mother, who knows my nature inside out, looks into my every thought and knows what’s my need the most, according to which God offers me. I have gained a lot in the one year’s church life, and especially entered into the truth of looking to God and relying on God. I kept praying to God all the time, never daring to leave God for a second during stay at hospital, and I knew that it’s God’s care and protection makes me lay down psychological burden. I wanted to offer my thanks for God’s love and salvation and believed human’s fate is under God’s sovereignty and dominion.
Scientific Thought Generated Again, and Medical Conditions Worsened After Surgery
There was a Chinese saying that “once on shore, one prays no more,” which described my condition. On account of reading a few of God’s words and the unstable foundation of spiritual life, feeling that my illness had been cured, I forgot the pledge of attending gatherings and pursing the truth seriously after coming back from hospital. I just went through the motions when attending gatherings, watched television until the midnight, and didn’t have spiritual devotions nor read God’s words, even prayed in a muddled way, becoming more and more dissolute and unrestrained, my heart strayed farther and farther from God. One day, when my unbelieving sister came to my house and talked with me, she said, “Our aunt had the same disease as yours, but at that time the science wasn’t developed, she couldn’t be cured and died at age of 48. So when you stayed at hospital, family members were so worried about your illness, no one dared to mention our aunt’s disease, but now it’s lucky that you have recovered from the illness.” After hearing my sister’s words, I was secretly delighted that I was born in a science-developed period, added to the high-quality medicine, how couldn’t my disease be cured? Then I thought, “When I accepted the treatment, though I prayed to God, I made infusion and took medicine continuously. It’s possible that the medicine that I have taken worked so that my disease can be cured.” Under the dominion of this thought, I completely forgot God’s love and salvation to me. Gradually, I felt so dizzy and weak, the doctor advised me to accept the surgery again after I had been treated at hospital a few days later and said many benefits of accepting surgery, which touched me so much. I thought if my disease could be cured after the surgery, then I wouldn’t be suffering anymore. So I accepted the surgery. Three days later, my surgery had been completed, and I recovered quite well. The doctor said to me, “Most of the patients would have a fever for one week or even for one month, but your fever clears in two days, it’s so good.” I was discharged from hospital on the fourth day after surgery.
But I started to have a fever again after going back home, and tried to cool off in a physical method but failed, even it’s in vain for me to take antipyretic. Usually I would have a fever at 12:00pm, and body temperature would rise to 40 degrees centigrade, and fever could be brought down until 19 to 20 o’clock, so the fever came to me in order in those twenty days. I suffered a lot from the fever and had no human-likeness anymore, with deep-set eyes, skinny body, but a big belly.
On the 25th day of going back home, I went to hospital again because I couldn’t endure the pain. The doctor arranged a medical examination urgently for me, and told me that my condition had worsen for the reason that continuous high fever after surgery triggered inflammation. After a treatment for one month, including progress of transfusion and using anti-inflammatory drug, my flatulence had been cured but the high fever still lasted. The relevant professors and experts had made joint consultations for a few times, but failed to give a therapeutic schedule, and they had used all kinds of advanced medical equipment, while couldn’t find the reason of fever, furthermore it didn’t take effect for me to use various good and imported medicines. I wondered, should my life be ended now? My disease actually had been cured already, but I adored science and was superstitious about science, and thought illness could be cured completely through the surgery. I never expected that a small surgery could bring me so much suffering. In the last two months, I was overwhelmed with sorrow, and the hospital was just like a hell to me, where I suffered a lot. At that time, the so called advanced scientific technology, first-class medical equipment, excellent medical skills were nothing to me. I felt so despondent and helpless, wondering what I should do.
Regretful in Hopeless Situation, I Cried Out to God Again
When I was at a tough and confused time, the doctor said to me, “There is no way for us to cure your illness, but we will issue a proof for transferring to provincial people’s hospital.” The words rose a trace of hope in my heart, and I thought maybe it was a turnaround for me to be treated in the provincial hospital, whose medical conditions were much better than city hospital. On that afternoon, I was transferred to the provincial hospital.
When I was admitted to provincial hospital, the doctors here made more medical examinations on me and took the inspection result taken for reference, but the same result, there was not any improvement of my medical condition. On the seventh day for being hospitalized, when the doctor made the rounds of my wards, he said, “it’s the first time for us to encounter such a circumstance for not finding the reason of high fever like yours, and you’d better be treated at your city hospital for convenience, but don’t go back to your home, because once your condition worsens, then the result will be inconceivable….” The words from the doctor made me lose the last trace of hope, and I was despaired thoroughly. I knew that the death was to come upon me, and I would die at any time, leaving the world forever…. Thinking of this, my tears falling down endlessly, I hid my head into quit and sobbed.
When I didn’t have other options, I cried to God, “my God, I am too young to die. It now looks as though advanced science couldn’t cure my disease, nor cure a simple high fever. God, I believed in You in a confused way before, and had a faith that science can cure my illness. Now it seems that was just my own imagination. I was misled and deceived by science which resulted in my condition now. I felt so shameful and regretful, but it’s all reaping what I have sown. God, I know that all human’s life and death is under Your sovereignty and arrangement, even though I would die now, I still offer my thanks and praise to You.”
Seeing Through the Substance of Science, Submitting to God’s Sovereignty, I Was Reborn
After I went back home, sisters and brothers came to visit me, listened to my one month’s experience at hospital, and prayed for me, then we read God’s words together, “To speak plainly, science is the thoughts and theories of things man is curious about, things that are unknown, and not told to them by God; science is the thoughts and theories of the mysteries man wants to explore. What do you think the scope of science is? You could say that it encapsulates all things, but how does man do the work of science? Is it through research? It involves researching the details and the laws of these things and then putting forth dubious theories about which everyone thinks, “These scientists are really terrific! They know so much and have so much knowledge to understand these things!” They have so much admiration for those people, right? … What science does is that it only allows people to see the objects in the physical world and merely satisfies man’s curiosity; it does not allow man to see the laws by which God has dominion over all things. … So how does Satan want to use science to corrupt man? Doesn’t Satan want to use scientific conclusions to deceive and benumb people? Satan uses the ambiguous answers to hold on to people’s hearts so that they won’t seek out or believe in God’s existence, and thus they will be suspicious of God, deny God and be distanced from Him. So this is why we say it is one of the ways Satan corrupts people” (“God Himself, the Unique V”).
Pondering the words of God, listening to the fellowship from sisters and brothers, I was enlightened suddenly, and came to understand that Satan took advantage of science to deceive, dominate, occupy and fool me in the midst of life. Because I adored science so much that my medical condition worsened. If sisters and brothers hadn’t visited me nor fellowshiped about God’s words, I would never have read God’s words seriously nor seen through the fact that Satan corrupted and deceived man by taking advantage of science, which resulted in human straying from God and betraying God. Though, by praying to God and relying on God, my medical condition had been improved, while in the depth of my heart, I thought the improvement of my condition had closely relevance to scientific medicine, which made me deny God’s grace and stand by Satan unconsciously. Though I believe in God, I still doubt and deny Him, I was such a person without conscience and reason.
On that day, we had fellowship on other paragraphs of God’s words. It’s already been over 18:00 when sisters and brothers left my home, then I realized that I had forgotten to take medicine. However, I didn’t feel uncomfortable, and took my temperature which showed 37 degrees centigrade, my fever was brought down. I was surprised that why fever had been brought down completely today, even I could only feel a little bit comfortable after taking medicine when in hospital yesterday. I couldn’t believe the feeling, so I stood up and shook my body, with the feeling of relax. It turned out that this was God’s wondrous deed. I was so excited that I couldn’t help saying, “I thank You, God.”
In the next two days, sisters came to visit me consecutively and fellowshiped about the truth with me. Living in God’s love, I thoroughly forgot that I was still a patient. On the fourth day of not taking medicine, my fever was completely brought down, and I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all and the state was just as normal as it was before surgery, just as the words of God say, “To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well.” The reborn me knelt on the floor and offered graceful prayer to God with tears, “Almighty God, It’s Your lovely hands pulling me back from the brink of death, I have seen Your wondrous deeds, truly experienced Your sovereignty and almightiness, and appreciated Your authority and power. I offer my thanks and praise to God. All the glory be to You.”
Giving Thanks to God’s Grace and Repaying God’s Love
During the recovering period, I read God’s words every day, and learned to sing hymns praising God. When I read God’s words as following, “When you repeatedly investigate and carefully dissect the various goals of life that people pursue and their various different ways of living, you will find that not one of them fits the Creator’s original intention when He created humanity. All of them draw people away from the Creator’s sovereignty and care; they are all pits into which humanity falls, and which lead them to hell. After you recognize this, your task is to lay aside your old view of life, stay far from various traps, let God take charge of your life and make arrangements for you, try only to submit to God’s orchestrations and guidance, to have no choice, and to become a person who worships God. … The sadness of man is not that man seeks happy life, not that he pursues fame and fortune or struggles against his own fate through the fog, but that after he has seen the Creator’s existence, after he has learned the fact that the Creator has sovereignty over human fate, he still cannot mend his ways, cannot pull his feet out of the mire, but hardens his heart and persists in his errors. He would rather keep thrashing in the mud, vying obstinately against the Creator’s sovereignty, resisting it until the bitter end, without the slightest shred of contrition, and only when he lies broken and bleeding does he at last decide to give up and turn back. This is true human sorrow. So I say, those who choose to submit are wise, and those who choose to escape are pig-headed” (“God Himself, the Unique III”).
Every word of God struck my heart, wasn’t that my real portrayal? I had made a promise to God during stay at hospital because of serious disease in September of 2014, which was as long as I can still move freely, I would believe in God properly. I saw God’s wondrous deeds after praying, I recovered quite well from the disease and didn’t need to accept the surgery after a further examination. Though I attributed to God’s grace and salvation orally, I was still infatuated and adored blindly to science in the depth of my heart, thinking that science could cure my disease and restore my body to normal. But by relying solely on my own ideas and imaginations, I got the reverse result, wasn’t that my sorrow? wasn’t that the result that I went against God stubbornly? However, God’s love is endless, He didn’t condemn or reject me according to my deeds, but had a mercy on me again, saving me from relapse. God knew that I was corrupted too much by science, so He arranged for sisters and brothers to fellowship about the truth to me, helped me strengthen my faith and see through Satan’s contemptible purposes for letting human adore science and be distanced from God and deny God. Now, God not only cured my disease but also freed me from Satan’s temptation and harm. I made a resolution in my heart: I spent the first half of my life in sorrow under science’s dominion, but I would live in accordance with God’s words and fulfill my duties properly as a creature of God in the latter half of my life to return God’s love!
Later on, when I recuperated at home, I read God’ s words, fellowshiped about my experience and understanding of God’s words with my sisters and brothers, and sang hymns to praise God and did my duty to my utmost. I enjoyed such a rich and colorful church life, as a feast with sumptuous foodstuffs, busy but fulfilled every day.
In December of 2016, when I went to hospital for a check-up, the doctors were surprised to see me again. They didn’t expect that I was still alive because they knew that I waited to die when forced to go back home. And they were surprised that my fever was brought down by itself. Some of them said, “You are so lucky!” Others said, “Such a wonder!” At that time, only I knew that the words “lucky” and “wonder” couldn’t be understood nor interpreted by those medical experts. I knew that it’s God’s deeds for curing my disease and He is the only One who can create the wonder of life. I couldn’t stop praising God from the bottom of my heart, arising reverence of God spontaneously. It’s wondrous deeds of God and the watering and feeding from God’s words made me reborn!
By Guo Ying