Understanding the grace of God: The Great Fear and Greater Grace Found When My Children Became Ill

By Dan Chun, Malaysia

I stood at the door of the hospital, for a long moment not daring to go in. Scenes of the past came into my mind: It was at this hospital that my parents and husband entered and never came out! I hesitated for a long time at the hospital entrance, and I was very scared. I didn’t have the courage to walk in. In case my son … I dared not think about it anymore …

Happily Welcoming the Lord’s Return

I am a single mother, and a Christian. In June of 2017, a sister told me about God’s gospel of kingdom. Through reading God’s words, I learned about the root of mankind’s corruption by Satan and God’s six-thousand-year management plan to save mankind, and I also learned that only by accepting God’s work of judgment in the last days can we escape our corrupt satanic dispositions and gain a perfect destination, so I gladly accepted God’s work of the last days. Afterward, I yearned for God’s word, and in my daily life and at work, whenever I had faced a problem I didn’t know how to resolve, I prayed to God and found a path to practice in God’s word, which allowed me to realize that God’s word is the lamp to my feet, and the light to my path. But just when I had developed a degree of faith in God, Satan’s temptation came to me …

A women sits on desk and reads book

In My Son’s Illness, Relying on God and Seeing God’s Works

On the afternoon of December 7, my son had just returned from school, and from the color of his face I could tell something was wrong. He had a fever, so I assumed it was due to pressure from his recent exams, and that he would be fine once he took some medicine. By 6:00 p.m., his condition was growing worse, and when I touched his head, he was even hotter than in the afternoon! I rushed to bring him to the doctor, who said that he would be fine after drinking more water and taking some medicine. But two days later, my son’s condition was even worse. He couldn’t eat, and he kept saying he was tired and wanted to sleep. Sometimes his fever would recede for an hour, but it would immediately come back. His face was pale, and his body was hot and cold in turns. I had a hunch that his symptoms were similar to dengue fever, and there had been other cases nearby, with severe cases causing death, so I was very nervous. I stayed by my son the entire night, and constantly brought ice cubes to lower his temperature.

The next morning, my son was very weak. I wanted to bring him to the doctor, but he insisted on going to school to take an exam. After he left, I suddenly remembered that my older brother had once caught dengue fever, so I called my brother to tell him my son’s symptoms, and my brother anxiously said that if his blood pressure dropped below 30, there was no way to treat it, and that when he caught dengue fever, he was treated abroad. In the afternoon, my son came back, and his face looked even worse. My brother took him to the clinic for a blood test, where he was finally diagnosed with dengue fever, and where it was discovered that his blood pressure was low, and that he needed to go to the hospital immediately. Even though I was somewhat prepared psychologically, I still had a hard time believing this was really happening.

I rushed home, frantically packed a bag, and went to the hospital. I stood outside the door for a long time, not daring to go inside. I remembered family members who had died at this hospital in the past, so I really lacked the courage. In my helplessness I suddenly remembered God. “That’s right,” I thought, “I’m a believer in God, so I should rely on and look to God.” So, in my heart, I prayed to God, “God, my son is sick, and I don’t know what to do. Please, God, give me faith and the courage to face it.” After praying, I thought of God’s words, “Faith is like a single log bridge, those who cling abjectly to life will have difficulty in crossing it, but those who are ready to sacrifice themselves can pass over without worry. If man has timid and fearful thoughts, they are being fooled by Satan. It fears that we will cross the bridge of faith to enter into God. Satan devises every way possible to send us its thoughts, we should always pray that the light of God will shine on us, and we must always rely on God to purify us from Satan’s poison. We shall always be practicing in our spirits to come close to God. We shall let God have dominion over our whole being.” God’s words made me realize that my terror and fear were Satan’s disturbance, but I believed God is almighty, that God is by my side and always there to help me, so I should have faith in God, rely on God, and experience things. When I thought of that, I was able to calm my heart, the terror in my heart vanished, and I was able to go inside.

 

Green grass and trees under the sun

The doctor said my son had dengue fever, and his blood pressure was already lowered to 50. Any later and things could have been very dangerous. After I finished procedures to check my son into the hospital, it was already past 11:00 p.m. I sat in the chair in the sick ward looking helplessly at the ceiling, and before I knew it I again thought of my relatives who had passed away. I was very worried for my son, and at the same time I was confused. I had just accepted God’s work of the last days, so why had my son, who was always healthy, suddenly become sick? The more I thought, the more negative I felt, until tears began to fall. I didn’t know how to face what would come next, so I messaged one of my sisters, who sent me a passage of God’s word: “God works, God cares for a person, looks upon a person, and Satan dogs His every step. Whoever God favors, Satan also watches, trailing along behind. If God wants this person, Satan would do everything in its power to obstruct God, using various evil ways to tempt, harass and wreck the work God does in order to achieve its hidden objective. What is its objective? It does not want God to have anyone; it wants all those that God wants, to occupy them, control them, to take charge of them so they worship it, so they commit evil acts alongside it. Is this not Satan’s sinister motive?

She then fellowshiped to me, “God’s work in the last days is the final step in His management plan to save mankind, and is also the moment when the spiritual battle is most intense. When we accept God’s work and turn to God, it means that we betray Satan and live in God’s care and protection. Satan isn’t satisfied to simply let us turn to God, so it tries to disturb and ruin our relationship with God. It knows children are our flesh and blood, so it uses our children’s illness to disrupt our relationship with God and make us doubt and betray God, after which we lose our chance to gain God’s salvation and return to its dominion, where it toys with us, harms us, and swallows us. So, we must clearly see Satan’s evil intentions, quietly go before God and be intimate with Him, and avoid falling victim to Satan’s schemes. At the same time, we also must believe that everyone’s life is in God’s hands, and no matter how arrogant or evil Satan may be, it wouldn’t dare do anything to us without God’s permission, so we need to rely on God, look to God, use our faith in God to defeat Satan, and stand firm and testify for God!”

My sister’s fellowship and encouragement calmed me. I realized my son’s illness was part of a spiritual battle, that Satan was using my son’s illness to disturb me and make me misunderstand and blame God. Satan was truly vicious and despicable. When I realized this, I no longer felt cowardice in my heart, and I had faith that my son’s recovery was in God’s hands. I knew I had to rely on my faith in God to overcome Satan’s disturbance. So, I quietly went before God and prayed to ask God for faith and guidance as I experienced these circumstances.

Two days later, the doctor said my son’s blood pressure was still very low, and that he had to remain in the hospital for treatment. My son was very anxious when he heard this, and adamant that he had to return to school for another exam. I knew this exam was especially important to my son, but I was afraid he would be in danger again if he left the hospital, so I didn’t know what to do. That evening, my sister messaged me to ask how things were going and about my son’s condition, and I told her what happened during the day, after which she sent me this passage of God’s word, “Of everything that occurs in the universe, there is nothing that I do not have the final say in. What exists that is not in My hands? All that I say goes …” God’s word carried authority and calmed my anxious heart. Even though I didn’t know what would happen next, I believed that whether my son would get well or be able to take part in his exams wasn’t up to any person, but was in the hands of God. Once I understood that, I felt a great sense of release. The next afternoon, the doctor happily announced that my son’s blood pressure had gone up, and that he could finally leave the hospital! He only needed to come back for regular checkups. I was very happy when I heard this news, because I saw that I only had to pray, rely on God, and trust that God’s authority rules over all things to see the works of God. At the same time, I also saw God’s blessing, because as I was doing the discharge procedure for my son, I discovered his treatment wouldn’t cost me even a penny! Several months prior, my daughter had applied for a government benefits card, and at the time the benefit fund hadn’t been stablished, but when my son was discharged from the hospital, the doctor told me the fund was in place, and all I had to do was use the card. In this, I saw that God dominates and presides over all matters and things, and that God’s love for me was real!

 

believe in God and pray to God

In My Daughter’s Illness, Reflecting on My Own Mistaken Intentions in Believing in God

Unexpectedly, one evening two weeks later, my daughter also became ill with dengue fever! When I brought her to the hospital, the doctor said my daughter’s condition was very bad, that her heart was weak, and that the situation was dangerous. The doctor’s words frightened me. The doctor wrote a prescription for a medicine to treat my daughter’s symptoms, but the hospital didn’t have the medicine, so I, my brother, and my daughter’s friends began searching for a place to buy the medicine. On the way, I thought of the situation when my son was sick, and I knew that there was nothing I could do, so I prayed non-stop, “God, You granted me my daughter, and now she’s in danger. I don’t know whether we’ll be able to buy the medicine or how to face what might come next, so I ask for Your guidance in finding a path to practice!” I went to several hospitals, but still wasn’t able to buy the medicine, so again I prayed to God, entrusted the matter to God, and asked God to make arrangements. Afterward, when the doctor checked up on my daughter, he found that her feet weren’t as cold and that she seemed to be recovering. Hearing the doctor’s words was very reassuring for me.

Late that night, after everyone was asleep, as I stood by the window looking out at the warm glow of the streetlights, a sudden torment took hold of my heart when I realized that just after I accepted God’s work of the last days, both of my children became so sick they needed to be hospitalized. I didn’t understand why God would allow such circumstances to come to me. In that instant, I felt especially humiliated and miserable, and I began to blame God. I knew my state wasn’t right, so I sent a message to my sister in the church to tell her of my thoughts.

The sister sent me a passage of God’s word: “How many believe in Me only so I would heal them? How many believe in Me only so I would use My powers to drive unclean spirits out of their bodies? And how many believe in Me simply to receive peace and joy from Me? How many believe in Me only to demand from Me more material wealth, and how many believe in Me just to spend this life in safety and to be safe and sound in the world to come? How many believe in Me only to avoid the suffering of hell and to receive the blessings of heaven? How many believe in Me only for temporary comfort but do not seek to gain anything in the world to come? When I brought down My fury upon man and seized all the joy and peace he originally possessed, man became doubtful. When I gave unto man the suffering of hell and reclaimed the blessings of heaven, man’s shame turned into anger. When man asked Me to heal him, yet I acknowledged him not and felt abhorrence for him, man went far away from Me and sought the way of witch doctors and sorcery. When I took away all that man had demanded from Me, then all disappeared without a trace. Therefore, I say that man has faith in Me because I give too much grace, and there is far too much to gain.

On the phone, my sister said, “God is the Creator, we are created beings, and we enjoy everything supplied by God, so we should worship and obey God. When we are controlled by our desire to gain blessings, we think that because we believe in God, He has a duty to watch over us and protect us and all that we have, to keep our families safe from illness and disaster; the moment one of our family members becomes sick, complaints against God are produced in our hearts, and we even begin to doubt God. Although you saw that God presides over all things in the treatment of your son’s illness, and you saw God’s love, you didn’t have faith in God because you saw God’s authority and love, you decided to obey God because God cured your son. Now that your daughter is sick, the little faith you had has disappeared without a trace, and you’ve begun to doubt God’s salvation. Satan sees that you believe in God because of your desire to gain blessings, so it uses your children’s illness to disturb you, make you doubt God, and then make you deny and betray God, and finally bring you back under its dominion. This is Satan’s sinister intention. But God’s wisdom is built upon Satan’s schemes. God has allowed these circumstances to come to you to first allow you to see Satan’s evil nature of attacking and harming people, but also to use its disturbance to reveal your mistaken notions about God. We are already in the final stage of God’s work to save mankind, and God wants to gain a group of people who fear and obey God, so if we believers in God only pursue grace and blessings, then in the end our belief will be in vain.”

After reading God’s word and hearing my sister’s fellowship, I blamed myself, because God had been by my side throughout my entire journey, used His words to guide me, time and again God had opened paths for me, and God’s love had been so sincere, but I only ever cared about my own family and interests, and my prayers had been full of seeking and demands. When God didn’t satisfy my demands, I lived in negativity and resented God. If these circumstances hadn’t come to me, I would never have seen my mistaken views on belief in God, I would have carried my intentions to gain blessings forward, and in the end I would have been eliminated. When I realized these things, my heart was filled with gratitude to God, because God’s love for me was indeed great.

Understanding God’s Will, Obeying God’s Orchestrations and Arrangements

After that, my sister played a hymn for me called Submit to All of God’s Orchestrations. After hearing it, I was very moved, and I couldn’t help but pray to God, “God, You have granted me everything, You have brought me before You, and today You arranged these circumstances to purify and change me. Your love for me is indeed great. I am willing to entrust my child to you and submit to Your orchestrations and arrangements!”

In the days that followed, my daughter’s blood pressure remained low, and even though I was nervous, I prayed to God in my heart, was willing to submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements, and no matter what would not blame God. One afternoon, the doctor called me to his office. When I saw him, he happily said to me, “The test results are very good. Your daughter’s heart is stable and her feet no longer show symptoms of coldness. I’m surprised her blood pressure rose to normal levels so quickly. She can leave the hospital!” The doctor’s words brought tears of joy streaming from my eyes, and I couldn’t help but thank God in my heart!

After experiencing these things, even though I underwent some painful refinement, I feel that my relationship with God is closer than before, and that I have greater faith in God. Satan’s temptations and disturbance showed me its essence of harming and afflicting people, and by facing Satan’s temptations and disturbance, I was able to rely on and look to God, see how God’s word guided me step by step, and allowed me to successfully escape Satan’s encirclement. I saw God’s authority and sincerity, that God is truly reliable, and at the same time I came to understand my own mistaken notions about belief in God. I truly gained a great deal!

In the future, when things not in accord with my will happen to me, I will have learned to turn to God, entrust matters to Him, and look to Him, seek the lessons I ought to learn, and no longer misunderstand or blame God, because I believe God’s intentions are always good. Thanks be to God!

 

» Read more about God’s Protection on our Testimonies page, or in some of the selected articles below:

• Who Could Save Me, a Cancer Patient?

• Miraculous Salvation in Traffic Accidents

• God Is With Me, I Fear Disaster No More

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2. Send an email to info@testifygod.org.
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