Once, in class, I talked with my classmates again, not listening to my teacher attentively. After seeing this, my teacher asked me to go out of the classroom to be stood. Standing up in front of the whole class, I felt ashamed and very unhappy within, thinking: I just talked in class, why did the teacher ask me to be stood? If I go out to be stood and am seen by the schoolmates of other classes, won’t I lose my face? At that moment, I wanted to talk back to my teacher again, but I suddenly thought that if I did so, it was the revealing of arrogance. Thinking of this, I kept my temper under control and then went out of the classroom quietly. When I stood outside, I was still out of balance in my heart, feeling that I did nothing wrong. So I quickly quieted my heart and prayed to God: “O God, today I am stood, but I feel unconvinced, so I can’t truly obey this. May You lead and help me so that I can obey this.”
After my prayer, I calmed down and realized that I did wrong in this matter because I didn’t obey the classroom discipline in class and didn’t respect my teacher. I made nothing of my teacher’s lecturing. This was not the manner a student should have! Hence, I made a resolution secretly: From now on, I must obey the discipline in class. I can’t speak randomly. To my surprise, before long, my teacher allowed me to return to the room. Then, I started to listen attentively, no longer talking with my classmates. I knew that was God’s protection and guidance; meanwhile, I realized when I encountered things, praying to God was very important.
One noon, my classmates and I were having meals in the cafeteria. As our voices were too loud, which affected other schoolmates who were having meals or having classes, the dean of students came up to us in a rage and said with his finger pointing at me: “Owen, shut up! Speak lower. Don’t bother other students. And you beside Owen. Hold your tongue.” After saying that, he left. Hearing his words, my classmates all felt very unhappy, so they started to call his nickname to laugh at him. At that time, I, who was sitting aside, also felt very upset, and I thought to myself: Why could the tone of the dean of students not be a little better? I did nothing wrong but only spoke a little louder. Thinking about this, I also wanted to call his nickname to express my dissatisfaction. But the moment I wanted to call him, I suddenly realized in my heart that God didn’t like my such behaviors, thinking: “I’ve made a resolution before God to seek to repent. Now I can’t live relying on my corrupt disposition anymore. I must practice God’s words when encountering things. Previously, when I encountered things, I would never examine myself; instead, I always thought I was right and others were wrong. Now I need to learn to recognize my own corrupt disposition.” I thought of the following words of God: “If you believe in the dominion of God, then you must believe that the things that happen every day, be they good or bad, don’t happen accidentally. It is not that someone doesn’t get on with you or opposes you on purpose; it is actually all arranged and orchestrated by God. What does God orchestrate these things for? It is not to reveal your shortcomings for everyone to see or to expose you; exposing you is not the final aim. The aim is to perfect you and save you. How does God perfect you and save you? Firstly, He makes you aware of your own corrupt disposition, your own nature and essence, your own shortcomings and what you lack. Only by knowing these things and understanding them in your heart can you cast them off. This is an opportunity for you, you must learn to seize this opportunity and know how to seize it; don’t lock horns and don’t resist. If you are always competing with the people, matters, and things that God has arranged around you, if you are always trying to extricate yourself from them, always feeling dissatisfied, always harboring a disagreeable mentality and always misunderstanding, then you will find it very difficult to enter into the truth. Through obeying, seeking, praying more, retreating to your spirit and coming before God then, unbeknownst to you, a change will happen in your inner condition.” Then, I realized: Yes, everything befalls me being arranged by God, not happening by accident. So there are surely lessons I should learn. When I quieted my heart, I thought that the reason why the attitude of the dean of students toward me was so bad was because I always made troubles, so he felt annoyed at me. I thought: My behaviors in the past were so awful, so how could others not loathe me? Moreover, the reason why the dean of students scolded me today was just because our speaking has affected other schoolmates. Being criticized was the consequence of my actions. Thinking about this, I felt very ashamed, feeling that, previously, my behaviors toward him were going too far and I was really too brash, arrogant and ignorant, and didn’t have the manner of a true person in the slightest. Therefore, I just ate meal, not following them to call his nickname.
At that time, my classmates next to me all felt confused about my such quiet behavior. They shouted and asked me to join them. Hearing their words, I felt bored and didn’t want to do that; instead, I really wanted to ask them not to laugh at the dean of students anymore. But then I also thought: The nickname of him was given by me. If I tell them not to call it anymore, how will they see me? Will they think I’m timid and scared of him? In hesitation, I realized: This is Satan’s temptation. I can’t fall for it. Now God is also testing me, seeing whether I choose to practice according to His words or follow my classmates to sin to protect my face. Previously, I didn’t know those behaviors were without normal humanity; now through reading God’s words, I’ve possessed discernment. If I continue to do that, I commit this violation knowingly. Then I’ll be loathed by God and also allow Satan to have a handle on me and ridicule me. Won’t I lose the witness? Thinking of this, I felt a bit afraid. So I prayed to God secretly within: “O God, now I feel very conflicted inside. I know if I follow my classmates to make fun of the dean of students, you won’t be pleased. But I’m also afraid if I don’t do that, they will gossip about me behind my back. May You protect and lead me so that I can overcome Satan’s temptation. O God, no matter how they will see me, I’ll do in accordance with Your words. May You give me strength to practice the truth.” After praying, my heart quieted slowly and I was no longer worried about whether they would laugh at me. Then they all looked at me in surprise. Right after that, they began to laugh at me, saying I was timid and scared of the dean of students. However, I didn’t care about that in my heart and thought: As long as God likes me, that’s ok. Not long after, they no longer laughed at me and also stopped making fun of the dean of students. Seeing these, I knew these were all God’s deeds and that it was God who helped me overcome Satan’s temptation. I thanked God very much in my heart.
Afterward, I readsaying: “Eyes that are full of deceit and prejudice for people are not what young people should have, and those that carry out destructive, abominable acts should not be young people. They should not be without ideals, aspirations, or a temperament of enthusiastic advancement; … They should not be without the truth, nor should they harbor hypocrisy and unrighteousness, but they should stand firm in the proper stance. They should not just drift along, but they should have a spirit of daring to sacrifice and struggle for justice and the truth. Young people should have the bravery to not succumb to the oppression of the forces of darkness and to transform the significance of their existence. … You should practice according to My words. Particularly young people should not be without the resolve for discernment in issues, and for seeking justice and the truth. What you should pursue is all things beautiful and good, and you should obtain the reality of all positive things as well as be responsible toward your life—you must not take it lightly.”
Compared to God’s words, I thought: My previous behaviors were full of arrogance, self-righteousness, dissoluteness and willfulness, thus bringing harm to my teachers and classmates. This was caused by my living according to the satanic disposition and having no correct goal in my pursuit. Now I should pursue according to God’s required standards, carefully study, do the right thing often, and live out the normal humanity when getting along with others to glorify; meanwhile, I should believe in God properly and walk on the correct path of life. Though I’ve followed my mother to believe in God long ago, I never pay attention to His words. However, God still takes mercy on me and uses His words to lead me to learn to conduct myself. I won’t fail to live up to God’s expectations for me. From now on, I’ll certainly , read His words often and pursue the truth to live like a genuine human being.
Afterward, through reading God’s words and gathering in fellowship, I understood some truth and began to focus on putting theinto practice and conduct myself according to the demands of God’s words. Now I listened to my teachers attentively and attended to them patiently, no longer talking back to them. When my classmates wanted to pull me to bully the weaker classmates, I would refuse them. Besides, I would persuade them not to do that anymore. Gradually, my bad ways were gone. I became a good student and an obedient child. When seeing my changes, my teachers all felt very surprised, but I knew it was God’s words that changed me and that this was the authority and power of God’s words.
Without God’s love and salvation, I would surely become more and more willful, arrogant and degenerate, and be swallowed by Satan at last. It was God’s words that led me to live out the manner of a proper person and changed my corrupt habits. I truly tasted that God’s word is the truth, the way and the life, which can change our corruption and show us the right life direction. Just as God’s words say: “The truth is related to the life of normal humanity. It can correct all kinds of your bad tendencies and habits, bad and negative thoughts. It can change your satanic disposition and all sorts of things in you that belong to Satan, become your life, and allow you to become proper and have humanity. It will change you so that your thinking and your heart are proper, you possess reason, and you are proper in every aspect. With the truth as your life, what you live out and every aspect of what is revealed in your humanity will become normal.” Thank and praise God. May all the glory be to God. Amen!