College Entrance Exam Becomes So Easy

Learning to Rely on God: College Entrance Exam Becomes So Easy

I Was Physically and Mentally Exhausted Preparing for the Exam “Class, exams are around the corner. Seize the time to review. …” The countdown to the exam had begun. All of my classmates buried their heads in their books preparing for the exam. I couldn’t help but feel nervous in this atmosphere. My grades hadn’t been very good, and the grade for this exam was directly related to whether I could enter a good university, and whether I could find a good job, so I was very stressed out and wanted to quickly review for the exam. However, as the vice-president of the student council, I was in charge of many events. After I finished everything in school, it would already be 6 p.m., and I still had to look after my grandmother after that. I would only reach home around 10 p.m. In order to have more time to review, I stayed up until 2 to 3 a.m. and I still had to wake up at 6 a.m. for school. Because of overworking, I couldn’t focus during class and would often doze off. But I didn’t really have any other choice, since no pain, no gain. The only way for me to get good grades was to do all that I could to review for the exam. Time flew, the exam was getting closer and closer, I also picked up my pace. Because of the pressure from the exam, and burning the midnight oil, I wasn’t able to have meals regularly and sleep well, thus my eyelids swelled, I also started to experience headache, dizziness, absent-mindedness. I dozed off in class, I became hot-tempered, and I was very exhausted. I was also very irritated because I felt that preparing for exam was really so tiring and unbearable. Sometimes I really wanted to just give up and not sit for the exam. But I wasn’t resigned, so I had to grit my teeth and bear it. Gradually, I didn’t attend gatherings regularly. For the one-hour gathering on Saturday, I would go offline early. I also sent a message to the sister that I had to review for the exam and couldn’t guarantee that I could attend every gathering. After the sister learned about my situation, she replied, “Gathering is the path to maintain a normal relationship with God. Only after we have a normal relationship with God, can we gain God’s care and protection, can we be led by God in our studies and life. We have to know that God controls everything, rules and arranges everything in our life. When we encounter difficulties, we should come before God and pray; seek the truth we have to practice. Only in this way can we gain God’s blessings.” She also sent me some God’s words, but I didn’t read them because I was too busy. Afterward, my mother called me, she also reminded me that I should pray and draw close to God facing difficulties, and that I should have faith in God. Thinking of the sister’s and my mom’s exhortations, I was willing to entrust the exam to God. However, when I realized that my classmates had almost finished reviewing, but I still had a lot to review, my heart was in a turmoil, and I was flustered. I thought, “My classmates have already finished reviewing, but I still have so much to work on. What should I do? If I can’t finish reviewing, I surely won’t get good grades. No, I can’t let that happen! I must memorize the materials. Only in this way can I feel secure during the exam.” Then, I began again to live the life of burning the midnight oil. When I Relied on God, Everything Became So Easy One day, I felt like I was going to collapse, so I called my mom, “Mom, my exams are coming up, but I still have a lot more to review. History is the subject that I’m most afraid of, and it is also the toughest one. I have to stay up late every night to review for it, and I will have headache the next day. I’m so depressed….” After hearing what I said, my mom, in sorrow, asked me if I had prayed to God. At that moment, I felt guilty because I forgot to pray to God under the exam pressure. Then, she sent me a passage of God’s words, “Since the creation of the world I have begun to predestine and select this group of people, namely, you today. Your temperament, caliber, appearance, stature, family in which you were born, your job and your marriage, the entirety of you, even the color of your hair and your skin, and the time of your birth were all arranged by My hands. Even the things you do and the people you meet every single day are arranged by My hands, not to mention the fact that bringing you into My presence today is actually My arrangement. Do not throw yourself into disorder; you should proceed calmly.” She fellowshiped, “From God’s words we can see that since the day we arrive in this world, God has already arranged our fates. God has the final say on how our future will be and what kind of work we will do. God is the Creator, the arrangement God has made for us is the most suitable for us. We should believe in God’s sovereignty, learn to rely on God and submit to God. All we need is to do the things we should do, and that’s enough. If we practice in this way, our heart will also be at ease and very calm.” After reading God’s words and hearing my mom’s fellowship, I realized that although I believe in God, I had no true knowledge of God’s sovereignty. I had always believed that a good diploma would get me a good job and a good future. So I relied on my own efforts and seized every minute…

cope with child’s exam stress

How Should Christians Cope With Their Child’s Exam Stress?

By Xinkao Editor’s Note: China’s National College Entrance Exam (NCEE) is an event that makes many parents even more nervous than their children who actually take the tests. Will the children they’ve spent years painstakingly raising be able to secure their futures? Will their hopes for their children’s success become reality? Thoughts like this are oppressing for many parents, causing more and more parents to develop anxiety disorders. So, with what attitude should we face our children’s NCEE? As a Christian, she was able to face her son failing and re-taking the NCEE with a calm, happy, and relaxed attitude. How did she do it? Below, we’ll talk about her experiences. “Mom, I … I didn’t test into college.” Her son sat numbly in front of the computer, watching the slowly darkening screen. He had finally managed to get these words out through clenched teeth after a long silence. After he said them, he turned and went to his bedroom. Fang Xing stood where she was in shock. She didn’t dare believe her ears. It was a result that was impossible for her to accept. She thought, “I’ve expended so much effort for the last few years to make sure my son gets into a good college. How could this happen to us? Is our family really going to spend the rest of our lives as poor villagers? Will we never have our day in the sun?” Late that night, the air was hot and humid. The noisy fan seemed to howl next to her bed, filling the silent summer night into a deafening roar. Fang Xing tossed and turned in her bed as complex, indescribable emotions raced through her heart, and scenes from the past raced through her mind … Fang Xing was born into a poor rural family, and her parents were simple, honest peasants. They depended on farming to support five children, and their lives were very difficult. As a child, she wanted to leave the countryside and live a good life, so she swore to herself, “I will study hard, change my fate, and no longer live in poverty.” To realize that dream, she studied hard, reviewing her lessons late into each night, but although she came close, in the end she was not able to attend her ideal school. Unsatisfied, she wanted to take the entrance test again the next year, but the family didn’t have enough money, and she had no choice but to give up her studies and earn money through physical labor. She regretted not working harder at the beginning, and complained that there was no money at home to let her take her exam another year, and her heart was full of frustration and dissatisfaction, but there was nothing that could be done. After she got married, the birth of her son rekindled Fang Xing’s hopes. She remembered her own failure to attend university because of her family’s limited economic resources, so now that she had a son, she knew she had to work hard to provide him with a good schooling so he would have the chance to go to college and have a good future—he would achieve the dream she hadn’t been able to reach. From that moment, Fang Xing worked with all her strength to earn money, and she devoted herself to providing the best possible education for her son. When her son began elementary school, she spent huge sums to send him to advanced tutoring courses. She didn’t let him rest on weekends, nor over the summer and winter holidays. As he was preparing for the final cram before his high school entrance exams in his third year of middle school, Fang Xing even put aside all of the family’s farm work and expended all of her energy on her son, even personally dropping him off and picking him up from school. After he went to high school, to ensure he received an even better education, Fang Xing also spent 5,000 yuan on special tutoring classes for him on an online learning platform. Once, when she returned home after work, she expected to find him studying in front of the computer, but unexpectedly, she found him playing games. She angrily said to him, “I spent so much money on extra lessons for you because I want you to study hard and live a good life in the future, but instead I find you here playing games….” When her son heard that, he immediately stood up, slammed his hand on the desk, and shouted in answer, “The only thing you ever want me to do is study! I’m sick of studying! I can’t take it anymore!” When he finished, he turned, walked into his bedroom and, with a violent shove, slammed the door shut behind him. Seeing her usually obedient son suddenly so resistant, Fang Xing’s heart was filled with frustration and heartache. “Why doesn’t you understand what I’m trying to do for you? I work so hard to make money, save on food, and live frugally because I want you to study hard and have a good future. Isn’t all of that for your benefit?” The thought made Fang Xing feel miserable and wronged. At first, she thought her son was just in a bad mood that he would soon get out of, but what she couldn’t have expected is that, from that point on, her son intentionally began to distance himself from her. He wouldn’t let her take him to school or pick him up from school anymore, and he went straight to his room the instant he got home from school without saying a word. Seeing her son’s attitude, she couldn’t help but feel bitterly disappointed. But then she thought, “Even though my son doesn’t understand me now, one day he will realize my intentions are good.” As the date of the NCEE approached, tension gripped the school, and the students were doing their final bout of studying before the test. Fang Xing felt…

I No Longer Worry About My Son’s Doing Homework

Children’s Education: After I Let Go of the Airs of a Father …

By Zhang Heng I Made Plans for My Son My son is 12 this year and he is in Grade 5. In the past, regardless of whether on holiday or at the two-day weekend, both the specific time when he did his homework and the amount of his homework each time were organized by me. He was very obedient and every time he could finish on time as planned. So, over time, I thought my plans were quite reasonable and that only by listening to me could he finish his homework on time. During this winter vacation, with my previous experience, I first saw how much homework he had as usual, and then evenly divided it according to the number of days of the vacation, and meanwhile I reckoned how much he should do every day and how long he would finish it. Except the time that he went out to play and the days when he visited relatives and friends, I had his vacation occupied. But something unimaginable happened to me. This time he not only didn’t do his homework, but always played online gaming on the mobile phone like “Arena of Valor” and so on, and even more, in his leisure time, he began to watch TV. Every time I urged him to do his homework, he agreed with me completely, but didn’t do it or found all sorts of excuses to shirk. The school would start soon. Seeing that his homework hadn’t been finished, I felt so anxious in my heart, while he was so unconcerned: He watched TV and played games as he did before. When I saw he didn’t give his mind properly to his homework and was still so calm, my patience was subject to a huge challenge. One day, I was no longer able to rein back my inside repressed anger. Therefore, I shouted to him loudly, “Do you intend not to attend school? If you do, throw away all your homework! Don’t write! Never again do it, that’s great! And I’ll no longer need to worry about your doing homework.” After I got angry, he had his head down in silence. No matter what I said, he defied me with silence. Looking at his look, I was really angry but didn’t know what to do. I put my mind on his homework all the time, thinking: I don’t ask how well you study or how excellent you are, but at least you should finish your homework assigned by the teacher. During that period, I’d been angry with him so that I even didn’t want to sit with him at the dinner table. And when he spoke to me, I didn’t want to say a word to him. I expressed my dissatisfaction with him in this way, but I also didn’t want to give up disciplining him. I thought inside: He’s my son, if I don’t discipline him, who will? People often say, “spare the rod and spoil the child.” It seems that he should be disciplined, or it’ll be difficult to control him when he grows up. Hence, I made up my mind to carry out all my plans I thought out: Firstly, I don’t allow him to come into contact with mobile phone to play games; secondly, I don’t allow him to watch TV. I thought: In this way, he will naturally be able to finish his homework then. However, things didn’t go completely as I expected. Under my high-handed means, though he didn’t watch TV or play games, he still didn’t change his attitude toward doing his homework. He just put his head on the desk and didn’t do it. As a result, when I checked it in the evening, the amount of homework he had was the same as what he had in the morning. Seeing this, I lost my patience utterly and then said to him angrily, “Tell me what you want. Are you ever going to do your homework? Give me a definite answer!” Under my repeated close questioning, he said, “Never mind: I can finish my homework.” I questioned him, “You can finish it? Think about how much homework you still have! Only several days remain before school starts. You will finish your homework when two Sundays come together.” This was my harshest criticism of him. During that time, I had his doing homework on my mind all day and because of this, I was exhausted physically and mentally. All of This Was Caused by the Position I had tried every possible method but there was nothing I could do about it. I thought inside: If things go on like this, not only will our relationship as father and son fall apart, but my daily life will be affected. This thing occupies my mind so much. In this state of helplessness, I could do nothing but come before God and pour out all my difficulties to Him, “O God! Now I feel very helpless. As for how to treat my son’s study, I don’t know what I should do. If I don’t discipline him, I fear he won’t study hard; if I do that, he’ll take no notice. What shall I do with him? God, I wish for You to guide me to understand which truths I should enter.” After this prayer and a period of time of seeking, one day when practicing spiritual devotion, I saw God’s words say, “If the adults always try to subdue the child in this way, if they’re always telling the child what to do, treating them like a doll in their hands, always carrying them around, clutching and cradling them, the child won’t want to listen.” “In a parent’s eyes, the parent is always a parent, and the child is always a child. Thus, the relationship between parent and child becomes very difficult to deal with, and it’s very hard for both sides to get along with each other. Precisely because a parent always assumes their place as…

salvation, the church, prayer

How to Overcome Exam Anxiety? Learn to Rely on God

By Xiao Huan The high school entrance examination in 2012 was the first turning point in my life. My family had high expectations for me, and I confidently thought that I could get into high school. But I failed, and became very depressed. After that, I was unable to get over the failure for a very long time. Afterward, my mother realized that I was living in mental pain every day, so she read some of God’s words to me, “I am well acquainted with the thoughts of man’s mind and the wishes of man’s heart: Who has never looked for a way out for themselves? Who has never thought of their own prospects? Yet even though man is possessed of a rich and dazzling intellect, who was able to predict that, following the ages, the present would turn out as it has? Is this really the fruit of your own subjective efforts? Is this the payment for your tireless industry? Is this the beautiful tableau envisaged by your mind? If I did not guide all mankind, who would be able to separate themselves from My arrangements and find another way out? Is it the imaginings and wishes of man that have brought him to today? Many people go their whole lives without having their wishes fulfilled. Is this really because of a fault in their thinking? Many people’s lives are filled with unexpected happiness and satisfaction. Is this really because they expect too little? Who of the whole of mankind is not cared for in the eyes of the Almighty? Who does not live in the midst of the Almighty’s predestination? Does man’s life and death happen by his own choice? Does man control his own fate?” Through God’s words I came to know that God orchestrates and arranges the fate of us humans. We cannot foresee what rough and bumpy paths we will walk and what setbacks we will experience. From the outside, it seems unfortunate that I failed my exams, but from God’s perspective it had His good intentions in it. Under the leadership of God’s words, I was able to obey God gradually and walk away from my pain. When I had no illusions about my future and fate and was willing to submit to God’s arrangements, I gained admittance to nursing school. My whole family was overjoyed. I felt that God was by my side and could help me at any time. I thanked God from the bottom of my heart. In the blink of an eye, five years of nursing school passed. I was going to face the second turning point in my life—the nurse certificate examinations. This certificate was particularly important to me, as it proved I’d studied nursing. Without it, I couldn’t do any jobs related to nursing, meaning my five years of studying would have been wasted. I particularly thought of my father, who worked from dawn to dusk to provide for my tuition, and how it would disappoint him so much if I couldn’t get the certificate. For the sake of my own future and face, and to not let my parents down, I desperately wanted to get the certificate, and therefore I was under great pressure. As the exam day approached, I got more and more nervous. Every day I spent hours imagining life after the exam: If I made it, I would look so great in the nurse’s uniform; but what if I failed? How would my family and friends see me? How would I survive in society without a certificate? … The nervousness before the exam almost suffocated me, so I went to talk to my mother. She said, “Your nervousness is caused by your ignorance of God’s sovereignty. All of our fates are subject to God’s sovereignty. All we can do is to submit to His orchestrations and arrangements.” Then she asked me to read a passage of God’s words, “Your temperament, caliber, appearance, and stature, your family into which you were born, your job, and your marriage—you in your entirety, even including the color of your hair and your skin, and your time of birth—were all arranged by My hands. I arranged by hand even the things you do and the people you meet every single day, not to mention the fact that bringing you into My presence today was actually done by My arrangement. Do not throw yourself into disorder; you should proceed calmly” (“Chapter 74” of Utterances of Christ in the Beginning). It is so true. God has already predestined my fate. If being a nurse is not decreed by fate, then no matter how hard I work for it, I will never be able to succeed. I’m just a created being, so I should submit to the Creator’s orchestrations and arrangements. Afterward, my mother fellowshiped with me a lot, and I realized that whether I would have a bright future ahead of me or not would not be determined by the results of that exam, but by God’s arrangements. Therefore, I came before God and prayed, “O God, I’m about to take the nursing exam and I’m not sure if I can make it. I wish for you to guide me. If I don’t make it, please protect me so that I will not blame You and will still submit to Your sovereignty.” However, I still had butterflies in my stomach, so I told God about all my difficulties and whatever was in my heart. Afterward, I read a passage of God’s words, “Regardless of how much truth one understands, … how great or small one’s stature is, or what sort of environment one is in, what one cannot do without is that one must look up to God and rely on Him in everything one does. This is the greatest sort of wisdom. … Sometimes, looking to God does not mean asking God to do something using specific words, or asking Him for specific guidance or protection. Rather, it is…

boys

Facing School Bullies, I Relied on God and Made the Correct Decision

Sometime school is no longer a pure land but, like society, full of strife; so is my school. Every class has some bullies. They always bully weaker classmates apart from those who have special relationships with the head-teachers or the president. Also, I was often bullied. My neighbor, tall and strong, always troubled me and asked me to buy him something. If I didn’t do so, he would hit me with his partners. Because of these, I took care to deal with him for fear of being hit. Even though I am a Christian, when encountering things, I did not know how to seek God’s will or how to tell right from wrong, much less rely on God. Unconsciously, I fell into Satan’s temptations.   One day, when I was doing schoolwork, some bullies came to me, one of which was their head. He sat cross-legged beside me and said with a toothpick in his mouth, “Xiaoqiang, let’s be sworn brothers. Every now and then those boys pick a quarrel with you, as long as you hang out with us, I guarantee none dare make trouble for you anymore.” I thought to myself, “You guys are not good people and notorious for pugnacity. If hanging out with you, I will be dragged down to your level. I won’t do that.” So I declined, “We are classmates even if not sworn brothers. Now I have to review my lessons. Why don’t you just find someone else?” He said, “It’s for your own good. Think it over.” After his word, they left. Thereafter, they came to me many times. One of them said to me, “I see you’re honest and always bullied. That’s why I want you to join us. Don’t you see that if we don’t want to be bullied at school, parents have to visit (give gifts to) the president or the head-teachers frequently? Under the care of our head-teacher, none dare pick on you.” And their head said, “If you don’t want to be bullied, only when you are somebody at school does no one dare provoke you. If you don’t listen to us, you must help us with our homework. It’s up to you.” After school, I lying in bed in my dormitory, their words surfaced in my mind just like playing a movie. I thought: What they said makes sense. I am often bullied at school and my tall and strong neighbor always wants to find fault with me to hit me. Besides, I live in a poor family and my dad won’t give gifts to teachers. Alas! They’ve come to me several times. If I refuse again, will they also pick a quarrel with me? After a struggle, I decided to agree with them. I, hanging out with them at first, spent all my time eating, drinking and playing, except when I attended classes. I grudged spending my allowance given by my father but saved it to treat them to food and drink. They wouldn’t spend their money until mine was used up. I thought they just used me to treat them to dinner, but never thought that they began to call me to fight. One day, when I was doing my schoolwork, one of them ran to me and panted, “Our boss asks us to fight. Why are you still here? Hurry up! Let’s go!” Upon hearing this, I was stunned, thinking: Fight? I’ve never fought with anyone in my life. Why do we fight? What if we hurt someone? With this in mind, I was somewhat afraid and asked him, “Why do we fight? What if we beat someone to a wreck?” He answered, “I don’t know. Since our boss asks us to do so, let’s go. It’s impossible for us to beat others to be disabled.” With that, he dragged me away. When arriving there, I heard them saying, “Where are the two boys? Where are they? Where did they hide?” I thought: It’s better to not find them, that way we don’t have to gang up on them. If anything is to happen, then that will be trouble. At the point, the boss said indignantly, “Let’s go and have lunch first and then deal with this matter.” After the lunch, we went upstairs. All I heard was the boss bellowing, “Beat them! Beat hard!” After hearing this, I said to myself: I have no animosity against them. Why will I do that? But if I don’t do that, I’ll be ashamed and looked down on by my sworn brothers. Then one word, “Do anything for a friend,” popped into my head. Anyway, I am here, and I’ll just pretend to beat those two boys. Then walking toward the two boys, I pretended to kick them but actually missed. When I tried to do that again, the boss yelled, “Stop! Stop it!” And the two boys freaked out and rushed to escape. When they had gone, the boss asked me harshly, “Why didn’t you fight?” “Because you’ve already tangled with them,” I answered, “I couldn’t tell who was who and was afraid to beat the wrong guy.” The second I said this, the bell rang. We came back to the classroom and with that the boss said quickly, “Xiaoqiang, we are asked to go to our head-teacher’s office.” I thought: It’s over. Was the fight discovered? As I went into our head-teacher’s office, I caught sight of the two classmates who were beaten and their parents, as well as our president. At the moment, I was very nervous with my heart pounding, thinking: How will their parents treat me? What should I do? Why do I hang out with these bullies? Why did I help them fight? If I didn’t fight I wouldn’t encounter this matter. Thinking about this, I felt my heart sank. When I was aggrieved, a passage of God’s word that was fellowshiped about at a meeting in the past came to me, “Can someone’s environment have a big…

faith in God, be saved, the truth

God’s Words Help Me Find the Way to Get Along With My Son

In modern society, the relationships between many parents and their children have reached a deadlock; worse still, because many conflicts haven’t been resolved in time, there could even appear wide gaps between parents and children, which brings great pains to both sides. Once I was one of those miserable parents, and it was God’s words that bridged the gap between me and my son, making me know how to get along with him. My son was 26 years old now. Grown man though he was, the way he did things worried me a lot. One day, my son returned home and said to me: “Mom, I want to run a store together with my classmate. But I have no money. Could I use the property ownership certificate as collateral to get a bank loan?” On hearing this, I thought: It’s hard to do business now. Probably you will lose money; the risk is too high. Then I flatly refused him: “You’d better forget it right now. I won’t agree. It’s not easy to run a business. You’d better go to work steadily; in that case, there is no risk and you will live easy and free.” Hearing this, he lost his temper, saying: “What can I do on such a low salary? Every time I want to do something, you never support me, but always want me to do according to your wishes. I don’t want to see you again.” Then he left angrily. Looking at his receding figure, I thought: I’m your mother. I’ve crossed more bridges than you’ve done miles of walking. So I’m sure I won’t be wrong. I’m doing this just for your own good, and you’ll understand sooner or later. Later he discussed with me about running a store several times, but I rejected him flatly. Finding it hard to communicate with me, he was so irritated that he didn’t go to work nor come home. One day he suddenly came back and again talked about the same thing. At that time, anger welled up inside me, and I said with impatience: “Why are you still talking about this? Why don’t you give up?” So saying, I refused him again. Then he stormed out, slamming the door behind him. After a while, he returned. Seeing this, I kept telling myself: Take it easy. I must keep myself from telling him off. Unexpectedly, during the meal, he brought up the topic of loan once again. Trying my best to refrain my anger, I said in a gentle voice: “Sweetheart, listen to me. We can’t take a risk.” Rejected by me again, he was furious, shouting at me: “You are always saying I cannot do this or cannot do that, so what exactly can I do?” After saying this, he slammed down his bowl and went out without turning back. At that moment, I couldn’t help bursting into tears, and felt wronged: I am doing this just for his own sake while he is always pitting himself against me. Why doesn’t he understand me? The more I thought, the more miserable I felt. So I went to my bedroom and prayed to God: “O God, why is it so hard to be a parent? I really don’t know how to deal with this matter. What should I do to communicate with my son normally?” After praying, I opened up the book of God’s words and read the following words: “Many might well believe in God, and in appearance they look very spiritual, but as how to treat their children, and as to how children are to treat their parents, they do not have a clue in their views and attitudes how to put the truth into practice in these cases, and what principles should be applied in treating these matters and dealing with them. In a parent’s eyes, the parent is always a parent, and the child is always a child. Thus, the relationship between parent and child becomes very difficult to deal with, and it’s very hard for both sides to get along with each other. Precisely because a parent always assumes their place as a parent and will not budge from it, keeping that status from which they will not come down, their child becomes at odds with them. A lot of things really result from the parent always assuming their place as such and taking themselves too seriously; they always see themselves as the parent, the elder: ‘Regardless of when, you won’t get escape from your mother’s (or father’s) control; you’ll still have to listen to me. You are my child. The fact of this doesn’t change, regardless of when.’ This viewpoint makes them miserable and wretched, and makes the child miserable and exhausted. Isn’t this the case? Is this not a manifestation that one doesn’t understand the truth? How is the truth to be practiced in this case? … Just be an ordinary person: Treat your children, treat those in your own family the same as you would an ordinary brother or sister. Although you have a responsibility, a fleshly relationship, nevertheless the position and perspective you should have is the same as with friends or ordinary brothers and sisters. That is, you can’t control, you can’t restrain your children, and always try to keep in command and have complete control over them. Let them make mistakes, let them say the wrong things, let them do childish and immature things, do stupid things. No matter what happens, sit down and calmly talk with them, communicate and seek. Don’t you think this attitude is good? Isn’t it right? So, what is being let go here? (Position and pride.) It is the letting go of the position and status of a parent, the airs of a parent, and all of the responsibility one thinks they should assume, everything that one thinks they should be doing as a parent; instead, it’s enough that one does the best they can in terms of their responsibility as…

Another Parenting Style Improved My Relationship with My Son

Susan, the United States I was born into an ordinary family in a rural village. Throughout my childhood,, my family was rather poor. As my parents failed in business, and were up to their necks in debts. And the villagers all avoided our family. Being young, I really expected that I could live the life which was the same as that of the people of my age—buying the clothes, snacks and a bicycle I liked. However, our family financial situation didn’t get better from beginning to end and we endured our being rejected by the villagers all the time, feeling that we had no way to raise our heads to conduct ourselves. When I was at junior high school, I often heard my teachers say, “If you don’t study hard, in the future you can only find hard work …” Seeing that they had high education and could have high incomes with ease, I admired them very much inside. I also saw that some people in my village were assigned to foreign trading companies to go to work after graduating from college, thus having a steady living and not having to worry about food and clothing. From that point on, I deeply believed that “Knowledge can change your fate.” But later because my family financial condition was bad, I didn’t continue my studies. However, I didn’t give up my pursuits: I placed my hopes on the next generation, thinking inside, “When I grow up and have my own child after getting married, I must ask him to study hard to test into a good college so that he can have a good job, not living a poor life just like me.” In 2001 I came to America. After having lived in this strange place for five years, I had my own family and child. Because both my husband and I were busy with our works and had no time to take care of our child, we could only send him who was only several months old back to China and let his aunt take care of him. During that time, I was of one mind to do my best to make money and thereby later I could bring him back and let him go to the best school. When he was 5 years old, we brought him here. I hoped that he could receive the best education here. I learnt that private schools were better than public   schools. Hence, I found a private school for him. But because his English was not very good, he couldn’t understand what the teachers taught and hardly learnt anything after a term; thus I had no choice but to choose a public school for him. In order to let him not lose at the starting line, I painstakingly used the translation software to help me teach him to learn English; after classes, I also arranged cram schools for him, hoping to improve him in English. When he was in the first grade, for the sake of letting him catch up with the teachers’ paces of teaching, I helped him with his homework every day and moreover I also often contacted my friends’ children and asked them to help him solve the difficulties with his studying English. Besides, every day after he got home from school and finished eating and having a bath, I would require him to take out a book distributed by his teacher to read the whole of it repeatedly and insist on doing this for half an hour every day because I thought that only in this way could he remember the contents of it. When he couldn’t read it well all the time, I was not in the least bit lenient and still required him to read; if he still couldn’t read it well, I would lose my temper. Having seen that he was resisting me in his heart and was careless on purpose, always thinking of playing, I became even more anxious and couldn’t control my mood, saying to him, “Why aren’t you considerate of me? Though I’m so strict with you, am I not doing this for your own good!?” He had no choice but to continue to read perfunctorily. Every time after I finished losing my temper with him and saw he continued reading with grievances, I was very sad. I also didn’t want to make such harsh demands of him, but I had no choice because he didn’t make progress as much as expected. This kind of life lasted for a term and I almost didn’t give him any chance to play. During this time, I had also thought that I should let him relax, thinking that children should have a relaxed and happy childhood. But then I thought: If he can’t test into a good university and thus he can’t have a good job, then in the future won’t he be like me being able to raise the family only by working hard for a lifetime? After turning the thought over and over in my mind, I thought I still had to require him to use the time for playing to read and firmly believed that as long as he studied hard, he would surely keep up with the teachers’ paces of teaching. I always thought that, he was not slow-witted so his grades would surely be better than others’ through studying hard. I believed that “There is no motivation without pressure,” so I required him that he must at least get over 90 points for Chinese (exam), and 100 points on the math exam, and that he should have very neat handwriting when doing his homework every day to avoid being docked points because of bad handwriting when taking the tests. I would often compare him with my friends’ children. Every time when I learnt that their test results were better than his, I would feel very unbalanced inside and blame him for his not studying hard; sometimes, I would beat and scold…

wedding

A Mother’s Heart Voice

In the 1950s, Zhang Li was born into a poor peasant family. After marriage, since her husband’s family was poor, Zhang Li and her husband, living by farming, worked hard and rushed around to earn money all year round, yet still lived a quite difficult life. Seeing their three beautiful daughters growing up, Zhang Li thought inwardly: Without money, I could only live a poor life; when my daughters find their life partners, I must ensure that their future husbands, handsome or ugly, are rich people who have houses, cars, and deposits, lest they live a poor life like me. Gradually, her three daughters reached the marriage age. One day, her eldest daughter called her and said: “Mom, I found a boyfriend.” Zhang Li asked directly: “How much money does he make every month?” Her daughter answered timidly: “2,000 yuan.” When Zhang Li heard this, her temper rose, and her heart was in great turmoil: So many times have I exhorted you to seek a wealthy mate; how could you choose an indigent boy? Do you still want to live a poor life? Zhang Li kept her temper, and pretended to be calm: “How could you live on 2,000 yuan a month in Beijing?” Her daughter seemed to know the hidden import of Zhang Li’s words, and said unhappily: “OK, I’ll break up with him.” After speaking these words, her daughter immediately hung up the phone. However, a year later, her eldest daughter still brought the boy back. Although Zhang Li was angry and unwilling to marry her daughter to a poor boy, seeing that her daughter wanted to be with that boy and that he promised to treat her daughter well, Zhang Li reluctantly agreed to their marriage. For a long time, Zhang Li couldn’t resign herself to the fact that her eldest daughter married a poor boy, and thought to herself: My eldest daughter lives so far from me that I can’t control her marriage, but as for my other two daughters, I must make sure that they marry the affluent. When her other two daughters were looking for a partner, Zhang Li was always extremely cautious. Every time the matchmaker introduced a potential boyfriend to her daughter, the first question Zhang Li asked was how the economic condition of the boy’s family was; if the boy had no money or house, Zhang Li would refuse bluntly. And so her daughters met many boys, yet few of them conformed to Zhang Li’s will. Several years passing by, one day her second daughter told Zhang Li that she found a boyfriend who had an excellent economic condition and could buy a wedding house, and that they got along well with each other. These words made Zhang Li perfectly happy. Not long afterward, they planned to get married. During the preparation for the wedding, the boy insisted that Zhang Li should pay the cost of decorating the wedding house, which made Zhang Li bitterly angry. She thought the boy was so stingy that her daughter wouldn’t live a happy life if they got married; as a result, she took her daughter home. After returning home, her daughter shut herself in her bedroom and wailed inside. Zhang Li felt sorry for her daughter, but she then thought: Without money, there is no wedded bliss to speak of. Despite your distress now, you’ll understand my painstaking care someday. Due to Zhang Li’s disapproval, her daughter broke up with that boy; the failure of this relationship caused great pain to her daughter, and she refused to find a boyfriend since then. Each time Zhang Li advised her to go on a blind date, she would say: “Since whatever you say goes, what’s the point of my dating a boy?” Hearing this, Zhang Li suffered an unspeakable sorrow, such that she couldn’t fall asleep at night, and her heart was full of complaints toward her daughter: All I have done is for you to live a happy life; without money, there is no happiness to speak of. How could you not understand my earnest intention? Gradually, due to Zhang Li’s constant interference in her daughter’s marriage, her second daughter no longer spoke intimately with her; when encountering events, she would talk with her father rather than with Zhang Li. In agony, Zhang Li was exceedingly troubled: All I’ve done is for the good of my daughters; how could my painstaking care be paid with such a result? Despite the pain, Zhang Li still treated her youngest daughter’s marriage the same way. Because of her interference, neither of her two daughters found a suitable partner. Seeing her daughters’ peers get married one by one, Zhang Li felt rather anxious inside: My two daughters are both over thirty; if they can’t find a suitable partner now, as they grow older, it’ll be more difficult for them to find one. At that time, Zhang Li feared meeting her relatives and friends. Every time they asked whether her two daughters had boyfriends, she felt like her heart was stabbed by a knife. Worries about her daughters’ marriage and insomnia left Zhang Li a headache. She was often lost in a myriad of thoughts: I wanted my daughters to lead a happy life instead of living tiredly and painfully, but why was my painstaking care paid with their complaints? Could it be that I was wrong? Zhang Li kept pondering this every day, but couldn’t think it out.   One day, Zhang Li’s relative gave her a book of truth, saying that the words in it are expressed by God. When Zhang Li read God’s words, the confusion and melancholy in her heart gradually disappeared. Zhang Li saw God’s words say: “‘Money makes the mare go’ is the philosophy of Satan and it prevails among every human society. You could say that it is a trend because it has been imparted to everyone and is now affixed in their heart. People went from not accepting this saying to…

gospel,Testimonies, voice of God

How Did a Brash and Arrogant Youngster Change?

My name is Owen. I’m 17 years old. When I was six or seven, my elder brother and I followed my mother to Singapore to study there. In 2014, my mother accepted God’s kingdom gospel. Under the guidance of her, my elder brother and I also accepted it. However, I only knew of God’s existence and believed that there is an Almighty One being in command of the entire universe; as for God’s will and His demands toward people, I all didn’t understand. As I have been intelligent since childhood, I could learn everything very quickly and therefore, my parents often praised me. Under such an environment, I became very proud and self-righteous, thinking I could do anything. When I first came to Singapore, as I’m a Chinese, I was often discriminated against by my classmates at school—they often jeered at my English being not good. I felt very angry by this. Therefore, I made a resolution in my heart: With my ability, I’ll surely surpass you in the future, not letting you look down on me. Afterward, I started to study hard. As expected, my grades were always among the best in every exam. So my teachers and classmates all admired me, no longer jeering at or discriminating against me. After getting to middle school, when I saw the grades of my classmates around me were all not as good as mine, I had little regard for them, feeling very pleased with myself in my heart: You’ve studied so hard yet your academic grades are not as good as mine while I didn’t study hard but can surpass you. I’ve naturally been bright and talented! Hence, I became prouder and prouder, feeling that even if I didn’t listen to the teachers attentively, I could get good marks. Later, I began to not listen carefully and also often talked with my classmates in classes. Once, when my teacher saw this, he asked me to answer a question on purpose. As I didn’t listen carefully, I couldn’t answer it at all. Being unable to answer the question in front of the whole class made me feel it was very shameful, so in order to take revenge on him, I gave him a nickname, letting the whole class laugh at him. Seeing they all did like that, I felt very pleased, thinking: Now you’ve seen how awesome I am. I dare you to pick on me from now on! Gradually, I became more and more aggressive. As long as any teacher told me of my mistakes, I would talk back to them and even scold them. In order to educate me to learn to be good, a teacher sent me to the educational section. However, I still refused to be instructed, had no regard for the dean of students and even treated getting in and out of there as an achievement; moreover, I used it to show off for my classmates. As a result, I even more felt that I was a big shot, thinking that the teachers all could do nothing to me. In this way, I became a “famous person” in my teachers’ eyes. Later on, they used many ways on me, but none worked. Hence, a teacher told my mother all the performances I made at school. After knowing I had become so bad and made waves at school, my mother felt very disappointed, so she often persuaded me to listen properly and not to make waves at school. But at that time, I couldn’t listen to her no matter what she said; instead, I felt she nagged very much, thinking: Though I’m naughty, my grades are not poor. Now I’m still young. Am I wrong in doing something I want to do? Why are there people who reason with me every day no matter whether I’m at school or at home? Bother! But I didn’t dare to be in direct opposition to my mom, so I dealt with her before her in order that she could stop nagging me earlier. After returning school, I would continue in my ways and did whatever I wanted, not keeping her teachings in my heart at all. After I got to middle school, I became more and more arbitrary and willful; besides, I also organized my classmates to stir up trouble together and bully the weaker classmates in class. Seeing there were so many classmates obeying my orders in class, I felt I was very dignified and had leadership abilities; meanwhile, I also liked this feeling of being the boss very much. One day, when I came back from school, my mother called me to the dinner table. I thought: She must nag me again. Oh! Bother! Though I was extremely unwilling to do that, I still sat at the table. What I didn’t expect was that she didn’t lecture me as she did before but said to me patiently, “In the past, I didn’t understand the truth, so I didn’t know how to educate you. Now through reading God’s words, I understand only the truth can change us. Besides, God’s words have revealed the fact of our corruption by Satan. Let’s read them together.” Then, she read some God’s words to me: “What kind of condition is this brashness and arrogance of young people? What kind of disposition is it? (They don’t listen to what other people say. They always think that they are the best.) (They don’t want to listen to others.) They don’t want to listen to others—this is one aspect of their behavior. Say it in a more detailed way and relate it to actual people, with yourself or with the people you see. What word can we use to describe the disposition this kind of person has? Arrogant. This is a kind of disposition and expression that all young people in this age group have. They are all the same. No matter what their living environment or background is like and no matter to what generation…

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