By Zijian, China Although through selecting carefully, my dream of my future husband and I being a perfect match was difficult to achieve. Ever since I was a child I have enjoyed watching romance series. Whenever I saw that the tall, burly, and good-looking main male characters and the beautiful and kind main female characters were perfect matches and that they had a really loving relationship and grew old, hand-in-hand, I felt so envious. Then I would imagine the day in the future when I also could find a tall and handsome husband and that when we two walked hand-in-hand, we would be like a beautiful sight, which would grab attention and make others admire us, and my heart would then feel such enjoyment. I was tall and had clear skin and regular features, so when I reached marrying age, matchmakers often came to my house to introduce potential marriage partners to me. My friends and relatives said to me, “You have such superior conditions, so there is no need to worry that you won’t find a partner suited to you. You have to select carefully and don’t make any decision in haste. If you choose a wrong man, you’ll feel wronged for the rest of your life….” What they said was exactly agreeable to me. The first time I had a blind date, the matchmaker introduced me to a tall and handsome young man with fresh skin. When we met, I was very pleased. But after the contact, I discovered that his hands lacked one joint in his thumbs. This was his imperfection even though he was good-looking. I thought I had such great advantages and thus I could not marry him. So, I refused him. Following that, someone introduced me to several men, but none of them conformed to my expectations. Several years passed in the blink of an eye. Most of my peers had gotten married and my families began to worry about my marriage. Once, a matchmaker introduced me to my current husband and arranged a date for us. When I saw that he had average looks and did not have man’s manners, I was unwilling to marry him one hundred percent. But because I still did not get married and my parents feared comments from others, they did their best to urge me to agree to the marriage. For fear of annoying my parents, although feeling wronged, I had no choice but to agree to it. My dream of a tall and handsome husband made it hard for me to face my husband directly. After marriage, confronted with my husband, who was not suited to me, I felt very aggrieved and always looked at him with unfavorable eyes. When talking to him, I always mocked him and gave him the cold shoulder. Once, we went to my parents’ home together, and in order not to meet any acquaintances, I chose to go upon a mountain road with my husband. But unexpectedly, we still met someone I knew and I heard them discussing, “They two aren’t suited to each other at all. How could such a beautiful girl see in him? What a shame….” Hearing this put me in a bad mood. Being with my husband made others gossip about me and laugh about how I didn’t have a good eye for things. It got so embarrassing for me. After returning home from my parents’, I threw myself on the bed and I felt depressed for the next few days, as if I were suffering from a bad illness. My husband asked me in a puzzled manner, “How come you fell ill after returning from your parents’ home?” Hearing him say this, I became even more angry and thought, “Was it not because of you? I should never have listened to my parents and carelessly agreed to the marriage. Now I’m really asking for trouble. I not only stay with you every day but also have to bear being given the cold shoulder by others. I feel so wronged.” But I did not dare to directly say this to him. One year, during the Spring Festival, my youngest sister took us to her home for a party with our relatives and her friends. After arriving, she was about to introduce us to her friends, and I thought, “You know clearly that your brother-in-law isn’t good-looking, but you’re still going to introduce him in front of so many guests. Don’t you intentionally make me look bad?” So, I deliberately found reasons to keep myself invisible in a room and played mahjong with some acquaintances. After returning home, my husband asked me, “I saw that when playing mahjong you were always losing. How much money did you lose today?” I replied crossly, “1,700 yuan.” He said with a smile, “You lost so much money. Gamble a little in the future.” Hearing this, I got incredibly angry and felt that my husband did not show understanding for me nor did he understand how I felt at all, so I said sharply, “Look at the state of you. Wherever we go, you’re not respectable. I’ve suffered many wrongs after marrying somebody like you….” Hearing me scolding him, my husband said in an injured tone of voice, “If you’re angry, you can beat me up a little or kick me, but can you stop exposing my scar?” Seeing him in such pain caused me endless torment and I knew I should not treat him like this, but I always felt unbalanced inside because of marrying him, and couldn’t control my emotions. The following day, my husband saw me depressed, and then found some people to play mahjong with me. But I wasn’t happy at all and always felt that no matter how well he treated me, it could not change his appearance and could even less make my dream of a tall and handsome husband come true. As time went on, my husband’s enthusiasm was gradually worn away by me….