Marriage

Xiaomin thought of how she was stuck before living in pain from her husband’s betrayal that she couldn’t extricate herself from and it was God’s words that allowed her to recognize the root of his depravity and to clearly see how Satan uses evil trends and all sorts of absurd thinking …

Is money the foundation of a happy marriage? When you involve yourself in a bustling city, is your marriage facing the test of money? Read to learn Christian Amuer’s marriage story.

By Zijian, China Although through selecting carefully, my dream of my future husband and I being a perfect match was difficult to achieve. Ever since I was a child I have enjoyed watching romance series. Whenever I saw that the tall, burly, and good-looking main male characters and the beautiful and kind main female characters were perfect matches and that they had a really loving relationship and grew old, hand-in-hand, I felt so envious. Then I would imagine the day in the future when I also could find a tall and handsome husband and that when we two walked hand-in-hand, we would be like a beautiful sight, which would grab attention and make others admire us, and my heart would then feel such enjoyment. I was tall and had clear skin and regular features, so when I reached marrying age, matchmakers often came to my house to introduce potential marriage partners to me. My friends and relatives said to me, “You have such superior conditions, so there is no need to worry that you won’t find a partner suited to you. You have to select carefully and don’t make any decision in haste. If you choose a wrong man, you’ll feel wronged for the rest of your life….” What they said was exactly agreeable to me. The first time I had a blind date, the matchmaker introduced me to a tall and handsome young man with fresh skin. When we met, I was very pleased. But after the contact, I discovered that his hands lacked one joint in his thumbs. This was his imperfection even though he was good-looking. I thought I had such great advantages and thus I could not marry him. So, I refused him. Following that, someone introduced me to several men, but none of them conformed to my expectations. Several years passed in the blink of an eye. Most of my peers had gotten married and my families began to worry about my marriage. Once, a matchmaker introduced me to my current husband and arranged a date for us. When I saw that he had average looks and did not have man’s manners, I was unwilling to marry him one hundred percent. But because I still did not get married and my parents feared comments from others, they did their best to urge me to agree to the marriage. For fear of annoying my parents, although feeling wronged, I had no choice but to agree to it. My dream of a tall and handsome husband made it hard for me to face my husband directly. After marriage, confronted with my husband, who was not suited to me, I felt very aggrieved and always looked at him with unfavorable eyes. When talking to him, I always mocked him and gave him the cold shoulder. Once, we went to my parents’ home together, and in order not to meet any acquaintances, I chose to go upon a mountain road with my husband. But unexpectedly, we still met someone I knew and I heard them discussing, “They two aren’t suited to each other at all. How could such a beautiful girl see in him? What a shame….” Hearing this put me in a bad mood. Being with my husband made others gossip about me and laugh about how I didn’t have a good eye for things. It got so embarrassing for me. After returning home from my parents’, I threw myself on the bed and I felt depressed for the next few days, as if I were suffering from a bad illness. My husband asked me in a puzzled manner, “How come you fell ill after returning from your parents’ home?” Hearing him say this, I became even more angry and thought, “Was it not because of you? I should never have listened to my parents and carelessly agreed to the marriage. Now I’m really asking for trouble. I not only stay with you every day but also have to bear being given the cold shoulder by others. I feel so wronged.” But I did not dare to directly say this to him. One year, during the Spring Festival, my youngest sister took us to her home for a party with our relatives and her friends. After arriving, she was about to introduce us to her friends, and I thought, “You know clearly that your brother-in-law isn’t good-looking, but you’re still going to introduce him in front of so many guests. Don’t you intentionally make me look bad?” So, I deliberately found reasons to keep myself invisible in a room and played mahjong with some acquaintances. After returning home, my husband asked me, “I saw that when playing mahjong you were always losing. How much money did you lose today?” I replied crossly, “1,700 yuan.” He said with a smile, “You lost so much money. Gamble a little in the future.” Hearing this, I got incredibly angry and felt that my husband did not show understanding for me nor did he understand how I felt at all, so I said sharply, “Look at the state of you. Wherever we go, you’re not respectable. I’ve suffered many wrongs after marrying somebody like you….” Hearing me scolding him, my husband said in an injured tone of voice, “If you’re angry, you can beat me up a little or kick me, but can you stop exposing my scar?” Seeing him in such pain caused me endless torment and I knew I should not treat him like this, but I always felt unbalanced inside because of marrying him, and couldn’t control my emotions. The following day, my husband saw me depressed, and then found some people to play mahjong with me. But I wasn’t happy at all and always felt that no matter how well he treated me, it could not change his appearance and could even less make my dream of a tall and handsome husband come true. As time went on, my husband’s enthusiasm was gradually worn away by me….

It was because of God’s grace that they saved their relationships and marriage. By opening their hearts, they saved their marriage from the brink of divorce.

Marriage is predestined by God. When I am willing to obey God’s arrangements, I no longer despise my husband for his lack of ability and finally enjoy marital bliss.

No matter she tried to hold back or argue with her husband, the conflict in her marriage wasn’t resolved. But later she gained a happy marriage. How did she make it?

Why did his wife betray him? When he understood the root cause of it, he finally got over the pain brought by his wife’s affair.

After a painful breakup, he lost confidence in life. It was God’s love that guided him to recover from it and regain the hope of life.

A true story: She was once filled with pain because her husband had an affair. But she totally gets over the pain of her husband’s affair and lives happily now!

She had been seeking a happy marriage, but it was full of pain. However, after her marriage break-up, she found true happiness. What exactly is it?

By Yifei, Japan My husband is not only good-looking, he also has a better education and a decent job. What’s more, he once was a soldier and had gone to war. He is better than me in appearance, education, and knowledge. After having our son, when my husband came back home from his work, he always helped me to wash the clothes, cook meals and take care of our son. He cared much about our son and me. He was really a good husband and a good father. At that time, I thought I was the happiest woman in the world. I felt happy and proud to have such a satisfactory husband. However, while I was happy, I also felt some worries and a sense of crisis, for I was afraid that my husband would follow the evil trend and be taken away by other women and betray me one day. At this time, my husband was suddenly promoted from the section chief of a government department to a vice president of a commercial group. When my husband told me this news, I was both happy and worried. The reason why I was glad was that we could gain fame, social status and money with my husband’s promotion, and that we could lead a better life and others would think highly of us. However, what worried me was: My husband sometimes went home at midnight due to his business when he was a section chief, while now he was promoted to the vice president, then he would have more business entertainment, and he couldn’t take care of my son and me; there are many people in the society who have lovers, and especially those who are rich, famous, and have social status are more likely to follow this evil trend; the higher position my husband was promoted to, the more various people he would keep in touch with, then it would be easier for him to follow the evil trend. When I thought of this, my feeling of happiness suddenly disappeared, but instead, my heart was full of worries and fears and I had an ominous premonition. Since my husband was promoted to the new leadership position, his social status became higher and he had more power in his hands. In order to achieve goals, some middle-level female leaders often pleased my husband by eating, drinking, dancing and singing with my husband. At the beginning, my husband also resisted and resented this decadent life and the social phenomenon and said to me several times that he felt very helpless about this. However, gradually, my husband could not help falling into this life due to seductions and began to spend his time on drinking and pleasure, living a feasting and pleasure-seeking life, even sometimes he didn’t return home overnight. I was traumatized in spirit and was almost on the verge of mental breakdown. The feeling of happiness my husband had brought to me was gone. One day, my son asked me, “Mom, why haven’t I seen my father for a week?” In order not to hurt my son’s heart, I lied to him and said, “Your father is busy with work and sometimes he returns home late because of excessive work. You go to school early in the morning, so you don’t see him.” After saying these words, I had an unspeakable sorrow and pain in my heart. Now, although we had money, fame, and social status, my husband was getting farther and farther from us. When thinking of this, I felt the loneliness and pain that I had never had before. Didn’t I have to live in such a painful life for the rest of my life? Thinking about the happiness my husband had brought to me in the past, I didn’t want to give up this marriage. In order to save the marriage on the verge of breaking up, I negotiated with my husband three principles: First, if he has socializing at night, he must come back home no more than 9 p.m.; second, he must have dinner with my son and me at least three times a week; third, if he has affairs with other women, then he mustn’t enter our home. Although my husband agreed with me immediately, he still did the same thing as before, without any reduction. Sometimes when my husband didn’t return home on time, I would quarrel with him, consequently our family losing peace. My husband and I became more and more strange. Seeing that our family once admired by friends and relatives became broken like this, I felt heartbroken and disappointed. I thought to myself: When could this hard life come to an end? When I was hopeless for my life, in 2012, God’s kingdom gospel came to me. Later I saw God’s words: “Born into such a filthy land, man has been severely blighted by society, he has been influenced by feudal ethics, and he has been taught at ‘institutes of higher learning.’ The backward thinking, corrupt morality, mean view on life, despicable philosophy, utterly worthless existence, and depraved lifestyle and customs—all of these things have severely intruded upon man’s heart, and severely undermined and attacked his conscience. As a result, man is ever more distant from God, and ever more opposed to Him.” After reading God’s words, I clearly realized that the reason why my husband had been so depraved was because of the social evil trends Satan used to corrupt people. Now, these sayings are popular with the whole society, such as “Seize the day for pleasure, for life is short,” “Women surely will have wealth after turning bad, men surely will turn bad after having wealth,” “The red flag at home does not fall, and the colored flags outside flutter in the breeze,” and “Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” These satanic evil thoughts have become the social trends. Under the influence of this social trends, the entire human beings become more…

I still remembered a piece of prose entitled “Transient Days,” which expresses the author’s resignation of fleeting life. Our life is a theater, in which each of us plays our own role; every stage of our life passes in the blink of an eye: From the moment we were born crying into the world, we begin our life journey; soon, we start to school, spending a carefree childhood; in adolescence, we begin to yearn for beautiful love; after marriage, we feel somewhat disappointed in face of the reality and flatness of life; in a flash, we enter old age and unknowingly confront our last life-juncture—death; then, we left the world, leaving the younger much mourning. Facing the passing of time, we could do nothing to stop it but just live amidst this law helplessly, generation after generation. Thinking of such transient life, I was overcome with emotion, and couldn’t help thinking of the first half of my life: After a failed marriage, my second marriage once was also in danger of failing. Because I bore a daughter, my husband, who favors boys over girls, always spoke coldly to me; the passion and romance we had when we were in love gradually disappeared, replaced by frequent quarrels. Later it reached the point that we were both exhausted and became cold with each other. Though living in the same house, we were like strangers, having no verbal or spiritual communication. Many times did I think in my heart: If I could go back, I wouldn’t have got married until I found an ideal companion. However, no one can reverse the time. With time going by, I wasn’t young anymore; the cruel reality disillusioned me, leaving me nothing but pain. I often felt lonely and didn’t know how to face my marriage and future life.   When I was in perplexity and misery, the brothers and sisters who believe in God entered my life. They shared God’s love with me, comforted and encouraged me, which relieved my pain a little. But thinking that my husband became colder and colder toward me, and even was unwilling to come back home, I couldn’t let go of the hatred for him, and thought that we would continue the poor relation and torture each other until death. One day, a sister who learned about my situation visited me specially. She shared her experience with me: In the past, she also had an unhappy marriage. She had so many complaints and suspicions about her husband that she began to misunderstand him and wallowed in self-pity. Gradually, they became further and further apart, both living in agony. Though she tried to change the situation, she failed at last. After she believed in God, she told her suffering to God in prayer. Then she read these words of God’s: “Take my yoke on you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest to your souls” (Matthew 11:29). “Look, at the beginning, it is possible that a husband and wife might not understand each other very well, because they haven’t ever lived together and didn’t grow up in the same family. After living together for several years, they will have gotten used to each other, and locked horns a few times. But if you are both of normal humanity, you will always commune the words within your heart to him, and he to you. Whatever difficulties you have in life, the problems in your work, what you’re thinking in your heart, how you plan to sort things out, what ideas and plans you have for your work or children—you’ll tell him everything. In that case, are the two of you especially close to each other, and especially intimate with each other? If he never tells you the words within his heart, and does nothing but bring a paycheck home, and if you never speak to him of the words within your heart, and never confide in him, then is there not a distance between the two of you in your hearts? There surely is. He is distant from you, and you from him, because you don’t understand the thoughts or intentions in his heart. Ultimately, you cannot tell what kind of person he is, nor can he tell what kind of person you are; you don’t understand his needs, nor does he understand your requirements. If people have no verbal or spiritual communication, there is no possibility of intimacy between them, and they can’t provide to each other or help one another” (“To Be Honest, You Should Lay Yourself Open to Others”). From God’s words, she understood that she was so arrogant and selfish that she had never considered matters from her husband’s perspective and often found fault with him. As a result, she couldn’t get along well with him, always lived in pain, yet had no way to break free from it. Having understood these, she began to treat her husband according to God’s words. She no longer complained about or blamed him, but began to let go of herself, treat him with sincerity and take initiative to have heart-to-heart talks with him. Gradually, the relations between them improved and their marriage was saved. Seeing God’s blessing, she no longer complained about the unhappy marriage, but was often filled with joy within. After reading God’s words and listening to the sister’s experience, I began to examine anew my marriage: Life is so short. Do I really want to spend the rest of my life living in the resentment against my husband? Actually, he is as miserable as me and just couldn’t find one to confide his misery. Since I couldn’t change my family predetermined by God, if I continued to live in complaints, it would only add more suffering to us. Later, I read another passage of God’s words: “One encounters many people in one’s life, but no one knows who will become one’s partner in marriage. Though everyone has their own ideas and…

Jieni, a post-90s boy, liked watching soap opera very much. Every time when he saw the plots that the heroine ignores the parental objections and abandons her high status to run away with the hero for the sake of love or that the hero puts aside his honorable status and willingly lives a humble life with the heroine, he would be deeply moved and also feel delighted for their happy ending. The passionate, tortuous, inseparable, and unswervingly loyal love stories shown in the soap opera engraved an indelible imprint within the heart of Jieni, the ignorant boy. Although Jieni knew that the love in real life was entirely different from that in the soap opera, he still expected that there would be a love story in which he was the hero … Through his work, Jieni met his first girlfriend, from whom this immature young man tasted love for the first time. He gave all his heart to her and took great care of her. Whatever the girl wanted to eat, he would buy for her even though it required him to travel a long distance. He cherished the girl as a treasure and thought that she was the one with whom he could spend his life. Later, Jieni was on a business trip for three months. During that period, he kept in touch with the girl and sometimes chatted with her late at night. He also felt a bit tired because of the lack of sleep and the heavy work in the day time, but in order to maintain their relationship, he willingly made such efforts. But not long after, Jieni suddenly received a phone call from the girl. She said, “Let’s break up.” In that instant, Jieni froze and then asked, “Break up? Why?” “You know, the long-distance thing just doesn’t work. We aren’t suitable for each other. We’d better be ordinary friends,” she said simply. As thus, the relationship lasting more than one year ended so easily. But it was Jieni’s first love, and he paid so much for it, so he was deeply hurt and felt extremely sorrowful as if his heart was torn. He cried for three consecutive days and couldn’t help thinking: Why is it so difficult to attain the perfect love I dream of? Can’t my great efforts overcome the time and the distance? However, it was precisely because of the time and the distance that the beautiful love he yearned for was shattered. After that, Jieni resigned and found another job in his former city where he met his second girlfriend. The failure of his last affection left him a deep scar in his heart, so he dared not long for the beautiful love in the soap opera. But as he contacted with the girl in every day’s work, he fell in love with her unknowingly. While dating with the girl, Jieni cared for her wholeheartedly. However, not long afterward, the girl’s best friend told him, “Actually, she has been concealing from you that she has a boyfriend working in another place.” When Jieni heard this, his heart was pierced again. He was very angry, wanting to put down his work in hand at once and go to the girl to ask her why. Later, Jieni met the girl and they had a talk face-to-face. Turns out that he was just a substitute in her eyes. The hurt caused by this relationship made Jieni completely disheartened and perplexed. He began to eat, drink, smoke, go to KTV or surf the Internet with his friends every day, abandoning himself to vice. At that time, there was a singer on the Internet whose songs were very popular. Jieni also liked them very much because he would identify with these songs every time when he listened to them. He felt that his heart was the same as the singer’s, cold and dark. Whenever he walked on the street alone at night, he would think of the failures and deception he had experienced in pursuing love. Seeing the cars and pedestrians passing by, he felt himself a wandering child who lived helplessly in pain. One day, his father asked him whether he wanted to go abroad. He thought, “I want to leave this heartrending city. Maybe after I go abroad, I can forget the sad past and will not feel so painful.” So, he went abroad. In the beginning, he felt that everything was so fresh to him, and he put all his heart into his work every day. Gradually, the past faded from his memory. Later, his old classmate invited him into a WeChat group. As he chatted and interacted with his classmates frequently, he made the acquaintance of his third girlfriend. They were of the same occupation and shared common topics in both work and daily life. Although they were far away from each other, they could have a video chat at any time every day. Gradually, Jieni fell in love again. For the girl, he even gave up the chance of staying abroad to work for the long term and was intent on returning home to marry her and build their own family. That day when he returned home, Jieni told this matter to his mother and she then read a passage of God’s word to him, “Marriage is a key event in any person’s life; it is the time when one starts truly to assume various kinds of responsibilities, begins gradually to fulfill various kinds of missions. People harbor many illusions about marriage before they experience it themselves, and all these illusions are beautiful. Women imagine that their other halves will be Prince Charming, and men imagine that they will marry Snow White. These fantasies go to show that every person has certain requirements for marriage, their own set of demands and standards. … One encounters many people in one’s life, but no one knows who will become one’s partner in marriage. Though everyone has their own ideas and personal stances…

By Aixin, Germany When Jingyu was two months old, she was given to another family to grow up. Her adoptive parents treated her as their own daughter and his two adopted brothers also loved her deeply. After she knew about the world, her adoptive mother let her know whose child she was. Although Jingyu knew that she was not her parents’ own child, she felt fortunate that her adoptive mother and her family were kind to her. So she was determined that she would treat her adoptive parents with filial respect when she grew up. The adoptive parents liked Jingyu very much. And they often said to Jingyu: “I’ll make you my daughter-in-law when you are old enough.” But Jingyu didn’t pay any attention to these words as she was too young then. When Jingyu was 16 years old, her adoptive mother wanted her to be engaged to her younger adopted brother Junjie. But Jingyu had been treated Junjie as her own brother. How could a sister and a brother get married? Jingyu didn’t agree, but her adoptive mother cried and said that she didn’t expect Jingyu should be disobedient after she raised her this long. Jingyu was at a loss. So she told Junjie this case. Junjie said: “You can pretend to comply with our mom’s request, and later I will take you to another place to work. Then you can look for a man you like and I also can look for a girl I like. When I get married, our mom will have no reasons to ask you to marry me. We will be brother and sister forever and our mom won’t be sad. Won’t that satisfy each of us?” Finding what her brother said was reasonable, Jingyu complied with her mother’s request. Afterwards, Junjie really went to work in another place together with Jingyu. One year later, Junjie returned home because of some affairs. Jingyu still stayed there to work. Just at that time, Jingyu knew a boy called Tao in her company. Every day, Tao would see her home. A long time later, they both had liking for each other. And Jingyu even agreed to marry Tao. The Spring Festival drawing near, Jingyu went back home and told her adoptive mother all the things about Tao. But her adoptive mother strongly opposed her. Besides, she begged Jingyu to marry Junjie. Jingyu had no choice but to turn to Junjie. However, Junjie even couldn’t accept the fact. He locked himself in the room and didn’t drink or eat. Even he tried to commit suicide. Jingyu found his attempt in time and prevented him. Junjie cried and said: “I have long treated you as my girlfriend. Love is selfish. I know that I can’t prevent you. Furthermore, I don’t want to force you to marry me. But I don’t want to live in misery either. So I can’t but end my life. Then you can live with Tao.” After hearing Junjie’s words, Jingyu was dumbfounded. While she didn’t love Junjie, she didn’t want to see Junjie living in misery. She couldn’t just sit here and watch her brother do the silly things! When her grandmother learned the news, she knelt down before Jingyu and begged her to marry Junjie. At that time Jingyu was in complete despair. She knew that she would not be happy even though she got married to the man she loved if something bad happened to her mother and brother because she left. In that case, she would have it on her conscience forever. Jingyu had no choice but to choose familial affection  and give up love. In the end, she got married to Junjie. She cut connections with Tao in order to make Junjie relieved. After marriage, Jingyu gave birth to a baby, and all the family were happy. But Jingyu wasn’t happy at all. She still couldn’t forget Tao in the distant place. Jingyu often thought: It is said, “All shall be well, and Jack shall have Jill.” Why couldn’t I live together with Tao? She thought that it was Junjie who destroyed her happiness. So she couldn’t accept Junjie however well he treated her. She thought that it was the biggest misery if she couldn’t live with the man she loved. Sometimes she felt so painful that she wanted to kill herself. She thought only death could set her free completely. But when she thought her child was so young, she couldn’t but give up the idea. She often cried to the heaven: “God! I beg you to save me! Why am I so painful?” To relieve her pain, Jingyu often gave herself over to drinking in some places of entertainment. And even she took her close female friends home on purpose to have cold wars with her husband. They took each other as a passer-by. And their marriage was on the point of breaking down. Just when Jingyu was painful and helpless, her friend preached the gosp of God to Jingyu and read God’s words to her: “Unbeknownst to people, Satan conveys many messages like this, causing people to unconsciously feel that these things are correct, or beneficial. Unknowingly, people walk this kind of road, unknowingly led onward by their own ideals and ambitions. … Seduced by Satan, they unknowingly walk the road it has prepared for them. As they walk this road, they are forced to accept Satan’s rules of living. Unknowingly and themselves completely unaware, they develop their own rules of living, when these are nothing more than Satan’s rules forcefully instilled in them.” “People harbor many illusions about marriage before they experience it themselves, and all these illusions are beautiful. Women imagine that their other halves will be Prince Charming, and men imagine that they will marry Snow White. These fantasies go to show that every person has certain requirements for marriage, their own set of demands and standards. Though in this evil age people are constantly bombarded with distorted messages about marriage, which create…