20 Years Later, I Was Finally Able to Forgive My Mother

By Kemu, South Korean In the darkness of the night, I scramble down a seemingly endless lane, looking every which way, but unable to find my way home and wracked with anxiety. All of a sudden, my mother appears in the distance walking toward me and I’m overtaken with a sense of elation. Just as I’m about to call out “Mom,” she disappears. I cry out for my mother in a loud voice, but she doesn’t respond to my calls and I become enveloped in darkness and fear … I awoke suddenly and sat up in bed, covered in sweat and breathing heavily. It was all just a dream! All the noise had startled my wife into wakefulness. She wiped the cold sweat from my brow and softly said, “Did you have another nightmare? After all these years, why don’t you stop torturing yourself? It’s too tiring and painful. After all, you can’t hate your mother for your whole life, right?” I thought to myself, “Of course I want to let go of my resentment, but I just can’t do it!” Mom, Why Did You Abandon Me? I had originally had a happy and loving family, but when my sister drowned when I was four, my life was turned upside down. My father couldn’t take the pain of losing his daughter and so he drank excessively and, after drinking, he would become violent, breaking things and hitting my mom. As my father’s psychological health continued to decline, my mother just couldn’t take the abuse and eventually decided to file for divorce. When I was ten, my mother called me on the phone and told me that she was now working in a different city. I decided to go visit her, but in the end I couldn’t find her. From then on, I felt only blame for my mother. I blamed her for being so heartless and abandoning me when I was only four years old and showing not the least bit of care or concern. I swore to myself that I would never try to go visit her again. Only later did I learn that she had moved to another city for financial reasons. When I was fourteen, I was forced to quit school and begin working. I was bullied and scorned to no end. Yet, during this time, I didn’t receive the slightest bit of help or support from my mother and I pinned all of my suffering on the fact that she had abandoned me. At that time, I wanted a warm, loving household more than anything. I wanted to live a happy and joyous life under the care of my mother, but this simplest of dreams never became a reality. Unable to Let Go of Resentment for My Mother Two years later, my mother suddenly contacted me and told me that for financial reasons and to make money that she could give me to start a family, she was heading to Korea for work. When I heard this, I didn’t try to persuade her to stay. After that, Mom would often call me to see how I was doing, but I had already been hurt too deeply and so I was always curt in our conversations. When I was twenty, my mother returned, but instead of showing caring, she was strangely critical of me. In the end, we parted on bad terms after a big fight. My mom was only in China for a week before leaving once again. My resentment toward my mother grew even stronger and I even thought that I never wanted to see her ever again. However, I could never bring myself to finalize such a decision, given that my mom had, after all, raised me for a time. Blood runs thicker than water, so who was I to cut family ties so arbitrarily? Seemingly in no time at all, I had arrived at the age when I should marry and settle down. I found a partner that really understood me and was highly empathetic, but my mother didn’t like her and strongly opposed our marriage, which only drove a deeper divide between us. After that, whenever I spoke with my mother on the phone, we would always be at each other’s throats. When my wife saw how strained my relationship was with my mother, she urged me on multiple occasions to put aside my resentment, but I just wouldn’t listen to her. Later on, my wife gave birth to a beautiful little girl and, to provide a good living environment for our child, we decided to move to Korea. When we first arrived in Korea, my mother would often call us, but whenever she called I wouldn’t answer or I’d tell my wife to answer—I didn’t want to hear her voice and didn’t want to have any verbal communication with her. On multiple occasions I had tried to convince myself to let go of my resentment and try to get along with her, but as soon as I remembered all of the pain and humiliation of my youth, I would be unable to let bygones be bygones. My resentment for my mother had ensnared me like an invisible net, making me feel repressed and unable to open up and let go. Because of this, I often even had nightmares. With God’s Pity and Concern, I Didn’t Feel So Alone My wife saw how much I was suffering and urged me saying, “Come put your faith in God with me. Only by leaving all your worries to God will you be able to open up and let go. God has expressed many truths in the last days and if we come before God, reading God’s word and understanding the truth, all of our pain and troubles will be resolved.” My wife had accepted Almighty God’s work in the last days half a year ago and had spread the gospel to me several times, but I had always turned her down by saying…

When Respect Is Lost in a Marriage, What Should We Do?

The Bible teaches us “Marriage is honorable in all,” yet in today’s society there are more and more people engaging in extramarital affairs. Facing the evil social trends, how should we follow the teachings in the Bible and learn to respect marriage.

God Led Me Through the Pain of My Husband’s Betrayal

“What woman did you send such an explicit text message to? So this is how you treat me, doing this kind of thing behind my back?”Expressionless, my husband responded, “So what? Everyone’s doing that sort of thing these days….”

Christian Marriage Story: No Longer Complaining, She Has a Happy Marriage

The Marriage God Has Arranged for Me Is the Best

By Zhang Jun Editor’s Notes: She went to a rich woman’s wedding, and after she got home, she was disgusted with her husband, and with the fact that her marriage lacked “bread.” Her relationship with her husband became difficult and gridlocked, and she lived in suffering. But then she discovered that although marriages with “bread” are glamorous, there is hidden sadness and pain behind them. She is suddenly enlightened, no longer complains about her husband, and realizes that her marriage is the best. How did she achieve this change? Read on to find out … One morning, a ray of sunshine shined into the house and painted the floor a golden color. Qianhui opened her eyes and stretched, but just as she was about to get out of bed, the phone rang. She picked up and heard her friend Lili on the other end of the line. “Qianhui, I’m getting married next Sunday, you have to come! …” When she heard the good news of her friend’s marriage, Qianhui was happy for her. She thought, “So many people tried to introduce a boyfriend for Lili, and all the men’s families had good backgrounds, but she was never satisfied. Now she’s getting married, so her husband’s family must be very well off.” On the day of Lili’s wedding, Qianhui woke up early to get dressed and do her makeup. She arrived at Lili’s house around 10, and when she walked in the door, she was shocked at the new house she saw, its wide living room, beautiful decoration, and fashionable, luxurious furniture…. The house could only be described as “magnificent.” The seed of admiration was planted in her heart: No wonder Lili got married! Her husband must be incredibly rich! Then, when Qianhui arrived at the wedding, she was even more shocked by the luxury on display: The wedding was held at a star-ranked hotel, the MC was the most famous host in the area, and all the cars in the procession were each brand’s most high-end models. As she took in what was before her, Qianhui was both envious and jealous. She couldn’t help but sigh and think, “In school, in both grades and looks, I was superior to Lili, but now, I’m lagging in every respect. Never mind the grandeur of the wedding, even the house I’ve lived in for years is still just a common bungalow. I could work all my life and still never live a life as luxurious as Lili’s.” Qianhui felt very lost, and she began to regret having simple standards when she first started looking for a boyfriend. She had only asked that her future partner be honest and that they be able to live a happy life together in the future, resulting in a careless search which produced a husband without the ability to earn money. If she could do it all over again, she thought, she would find a rich man with a house and a car. Well, it’s too late for that now. Qianhui shook her head helplessly. To keep herself from being immersed in sense of loss, she chatted with a few friends she hadn’t seen for a long time. But her friends were also showing off about their husbands’ work, income, family houses, cars…. Compared to her friends, Qianhui felt that she had nothing worth showing off. Qianhui’s self-esteem was seriously frustrated, and her mood fell. She couldn’t sit still anymore, so she simply ate and left in a hurry. When she got home, scenes of what she saw at the wedding floated through Qianhui’s mind. All her friends seemed to be doing better than she was. She didn’t have much money, didn’t have a car, and didn’t even have a condo unit in an apartment building, never mind the trappings of a luxurious life. The more she thought, the more aggrieved she felt. She thought she felt so lost now because her husband was incompetent. If her husband came from a family that was better off, or if he could make a lot of money, then wouldn’t she also have a house and a car, and a petty bourgeoisie lifestyle, and show off in front of her friends? The thought made everything she saw at home ugly to her, especially her husband’s clumsy honesty, weakness, and incompetence, which became infuriating to her. Whenever her husband did something that was the slightest bit displeasing, she found an excuse to lose her temper with him as a way to vent her dissatisfaction. Every time her husband saw Qianhui unhappy, he would try to comfort her. Although Qianhui knew her husband treated her well and let her have her way in everything, she always felt humiliated. She didn’t want to live such an ordinary life, where an escape from poverty seemed impossible. And so, her originally harmonious and comfortable family life was now spent quarreling. Gradually, Qianhui felt that her husband had changed. In the past, he came back from work and helped her with housework as he talked to her, but now he was cold to her. He started playing games on his phone whenever he had nothing to do, and he barely talked to her. His strange behavior made Qianhui even more frustrated. She thought, “It was humiliating enough to marry you, and now you treat me like this. I really can’t live like this!” The more she thought about it, the more aggrieved and miserable she felt. She didn’t know how to go on. Later, Qianhui accepted God’s last days’ gospel. She often went to meetings with her brothers and sisters to read the words of God. As she interacted with her brothers and sisters, she saw that everyone was very honest and kind. If anyone had difficulties or was confused, they could discuss things openly together and seek truth in God’s words. There was no superiority or inferiority between them, no one looked down on anyone else, and everyone helped, supported, and supplied each other. Everyone…

Eastern Lightning, The church of Almighty God

Who Put an End to the Quarrelling? (II)

Later, I saw God’s words saying: “One after another, all these trends carry an evil influence that continually degenerates man, that lowers their morals and their quality of character more and more, to the extent that we can even say the majority of people now have no integrity, no humanity, neither do they have any conscience, much less any reason. … The majority of people, however, in the midst of their unawareness, will still be continually infected, assimilated and attracted by this kind of trend, until they all unknowingly and involuntarily accept it, and are all submerged in and controlled by it. For man who is not of sound body and mind, who never knows what is truth, who cannot tell the difference between positive and negative things, these kinds of trends one after another make them all willingly accept these trends, the life view, the life philosophies and values that come from Satan. They accept what Satan tells them on how to approach life and the way to live that Satan ‘bestows’ on them. They have not the strength, neither do they have the ability, much less the awareness to resist” (“God Himself, the Unique VI”). After reading God’s words, I suddenly became aware: My husband is addicted to playing mahjong, for he is unconsciously affected and influenced by the evil trend of Satan, and then goes to play uncontrollably. Now what is popular in this society? As a man, you should be able to smoke, drink and play mahjong. Otherwise, you are not a man and your life is not meaningful. Satan uses various kinds of evil social trends to corrode our thoughts and spirits in order to make us follow our fleshly desires and abandon ourselves to vice. Since we were corrupted by Satan, we have lost the ability to discern the positive and the negative. And we have no exact standard of distinguishing between justice and wickedness, good and evil, beauty and ugliness. Besides, we can’t see through the sinister motives of Satan corrupting us, so we are naturally tricked by Satan and sink low. Satan makes us indulge in playing mahjong to destroy our resolutions little by little, and deceive and control us in order that we have no time to worship God and are ever more distant from God. Finally we will stray away from God, betray God and become a man belonging to Satan that we will be eliminated and destroyed by God. Thank God for His guidance and enlightenment, I have seen through the tricks of Satan and the sinister motives of it corrupting man. Both my husband and I are victims as well. I can’t quarrel with him by my arrogant nature any more. At this moment, I bore him no grudge in my heart, and determined not to control him by my arrogant nature. He is also in God’s hand. I should rely on God and experience God’s words with him to resolve our corrupt satanic dispositions and overcome Satan’s cruelty and tests. Then I prayed to God to help my husband see through Satan’s scheme, break away from the evil trends as soon as possible, and get rid of Satan’s talons. One night, I woke up and find that my husband didn’t still come back because of his playing mahjong. I wanted to rage against him again: You give free rein to your temper and don’t return as yet. Where is my place in your heart? … Thinking of this, I suddenly realized that my condition was incorrect. I wanted to teach him by my arrogant nature once again. At that moment, I remembered God’s words that I saw before: “In every step of work that God does within people, externally it appears to be interactions between people, as if born of human arrangements, or from human interference. But behind the scenes, every step of work, and everything that happens, is a wager made by Satan before God, and requires people to stand firm in their testimony to God. … Thus, in everything there is a battle, and when there is a battle within you, thanks to your actual cooperation and actual suffering God works within you. Ultimately, inside you are able to put the matter aside and the anger is naturally extinguished. Such is the effect of your cooperation with God” (“Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God”). I nearly and fell for Satan’s tricks. From its surface appearance, my husband came back late, but in fact, it was a bet between Satan and God. God was seeing whether I would practice the truth to satisfy Him or whether I would live by Satan’s corrupt dispositions. It was just time for me to stand witness for God. So I should actually cooperate with God and shouldn’t let Satan’s scheme succeed. Having a knowledge of God’s will, I prayed to God silently to lead me to break through the shackles of Satan’s dark influence, living within God’s words. After the prayer, I was not angry gradually. Then, my husband came back. I did not blow him up, but spoke calmly with him. He said in surprise: “I thought you would take it out on me as usual. I never thought that you had transformed. Alas, you don’t know, in fact, when playing mahjong, I didn’t feel peaceful within but felt the condemnation placed on my conscience. I know God hates this, but I always can’t control myself.” Hearing his words, I saw again Satan’s hatefulness, and said to him: “I’m dominated by my arrogant satanic nature, and always blow you up. Through reading God’s words and praying to God, I have understood that you are also influenced by the society trends and harmed by Satan. I’m not angry with you. God’s words are the truth and a sole powerful weapon with which we can overcome Satan. As long as we rely on God more, read more of God’s words and practice God’s words, God will help us…

Who Put an End to the Quarrelling? (I)

Not long after my marriage, I didn’t go to work because I was pregnant. In daytime, my husband went to work, and my parents-in-law were busy with farm work, while I could only stay home boringly. Sometimes I watched TV or did some housework, but most times, I had nothing to do. Consequently, I felt so fed up that I expected that my husband could return home early after his work to chat with me. However, when he came off work, he directly went out to play mahjong after the meal. It wasn’t until midnight that he came back. For this reason, I felt so suppressed. Every time when he arrived home, I got at him. At that moment, what he said was well and he promised that he would no longer come back home too late. Yet he still did as before. Seeing he was never obedient to me, I thought: We just got married not long ago but you treat me like this. Now what I say doesn’t work. There’s still a long way ahead of us. Won’t you take notice of me at all in the future? No, I must come up with a plan to make you quietly obey me. One night, seeing my husband return so late, I said to him angrily: “I’m not asking that you don’t play mahjong. But can you spend less time on it? If you go on like this, then I’ll be done with this marriage. Tomorrow I’m going back to my parent’s place.” Seeing I was really angry, he quickly made an apology. But I didn’t accept his apology for I decided to have it in for him. The next morning, I didn’t have breakfast and went back to my parents’ house. At night, my husband went to pick me up after his work. He said: “This time I’ve truly known I was wrong. I won’t go home so late any more. Please go back with me.” Hearing his repentance and considering our parents’ concern about us, I went home with him. I thought he would not play mahjong too late after this experience. However, he just kept the promise for several days. Wherefore, I often quarreled with him, with tears running down my face. I beat him and kicked up a ruckus. Both the carrot and the stick were used, but all of these were still in vain. We went through several years of quarrel in that way. During the several years, I was in agony on the inside. I did not know when such a life would end and why he did not listen to me. Just when our marriage was about to break down, God’s salvation came to my husband and me. I saw that God’s words say: “Adam and Eve created by God in the beginning were holy people, which is to say, whilst in the Garden of Eden they were holy, untainted with filth. They were also faithful to Jehovah, and knew nothing of the betrayal of Jehovah. This is because they were without the disturbance of the influence of Satan, were without Satan’s poison, and were the purest of all mankind. They lived in the Garden of Eden, undefiled by any filth, unpossessed by the flesh, and in reverence of Jehovah. Later, when they were tempted by Satan, they had the poison of the serpent, and the desire to betray Jehovah, and they lived under the influence of Satan. In the beginning, they were holy and revered Jehovah; only like this were they human. Later on, after they were tempted by Satan, they ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and lived under the influence of Satan. They were gradually corrupted by Satan, and lost the original image of man” (“The Experiences of Peter: His Knowledge of Chastisement and Judgment”). From God’s words I knew: Adam and Eve created by God in the beginning had no corrupt disposition and worshiped God. Later, after being tempted and corrupted by Satan, they began to have various corrupt satanic dispositions. Furthermore, today, our corrupt satanic dispositions have become more and more serious, and we humans don’t have any likeness of the man created by God in the beginning. Through a period of fellowshiping about God’s words at the meetings, I knew that God’s work during the last days is to express the truth, judge, chastise and purify the deeply corrupt mankind, in order that we, through reading and practicing God’s word, can shed the satanic corrupt disposition, live out the manner of a true person, be taken into the kingdom and regain the life that Adam and Eve lived. This is also God’s original intention in creating man. In addition, I realized: That I quarreled with my husband in the past is because I have an arrogant corrupt satanic disposition, and want to take charge of him and let him listen to me. Only by reading God’s words more and practicing God’s words can I achieve a transformation and then escape from these sufferings. After knowing these things, I practiced forsaking my corrupt satanic dispositions consciously by eating and drinking God’s words so that I wouldn’t live such a hard life any more. But because I am deeply corrupted by Satan and there are deep-rooted Satan’s poisons from inside of me, it is not easy for me to change. To purify and change me, God arranged a real environment for me. After believing in God, my husband wanted to read God’s words more and didn’t want to play mahjong any longer. However, when he just got off work and his mahjong friends frequently called him to play, he could not resist the allure, and went to play again for the sake of saving face. Because I didn’t have a knowledge of God’s work, I still wanted to change him in my ways, even giving him an ultimatum: Don’t come back home if you don’t get home before 9:00 p.m….

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