A Happy Couple, happy marriage

God’s Guidance Frees Her From the Pain of Her Marriage’s Collapse

Xiaomin thought of how she was stuck before living in pain from her husband’s betrayal that she couldn’t extricate herself from and it was God’s words that allowed her to recognize the root of his depravity and to clearly see how Satan uses evil trends and all sorts of absurd thinking …

relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

How to Handle the Relationship Between Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law

Li Xiu (Thread Starter): Hello, everybody! Wang Dan: Hello, anything to share with us? Zhao Hui: We’re all ears. Li Xiu: Alas! At the mention of my daughter-in-law, I feel great sadness. I should have been happy for my son’s marriage. However, I have been unhappy since my daughter-in-law married into my family. She is too lazy. In more than a decade, I helped her take care of her kid, whereas she didn’t do any housework after coming home from work. She always leaves the dishes for me to wash after meals. Moreover, she has never cleaned the toilet and kitchen. I feel annoyed at her such behaviors, and complain about my son’s marrying her. Alas, each time when I think of these things, I become angry. Anyone have a good idea to solve my problem? Wang Dan: Alas! I understand how you feel. I’m facing the same problem as you. As the proverbs go, “Even an upright official finds it hard to settle a family quarrel,” and “Every family has its own problems.” Few mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law have been able to get along with each other since time began. Just turn a blind eye and scramble for a living. He Jia: In my view, since you can’t get along well with each other, why not live apart from her? Out of sight, out of mind. Zhao Hui: I don’t think to separate to live or scramble for a living is a good idea, because it can only temporarily ease the conflict, but cannot truly solve the problem. If mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can’t stand the sight of each other, then how can they be family? Xu Qing: It’s normal that there is a generation gap between you because of different backgrounds and different education. Thread Starter, why don’t you try asking your son to speak to his wife? Li Xiu: I’ve tried. But he is always on his wife’s side. Alas! He loves his wife more than he loves me. Xu Qing: Maybe you can try Wang Dan’s idea. Just turn a blind eye and make do. Zhang Hui: Will it work? They still have to stay mad every day. How tiring the life will be! Xu Qing: Well, I have no other ideas. Anyone have a clever idea? Zeng Ai: I have no clever idea. As to this problem, just let me share my experience and appreciation. Li Xiu: OK! Zeng Ai: My daughter-in-law was not domesticated, either. Every day after returning home from work, she was always playing with her cell phone and didn’t care for others at all. My son, who is a teacher, prepared lessons late every night. One day, I went to their house. At night, I was preparing for bed, when my son asked me to hang out his washing. I went through their bedroom to the balcony, and saw that my daughter-in-law had already fallen asleep. I immediately became angry. My son is so busy every day. As a wife, she should show no consideration for her husband at all; it’s a shame. The more I thought, the angrier I became, so that I really wanted to immediately throw the basin down and walk off. However, that would embarrass my son, so I smothered my anger hanging out the washing. Each time when I saw that she didn’t do housework, I felt mad. I thought, “After I got married, I had to work, take care of my kids as well as do household chores. I always kept the family in line so that my family didn’t need to bother themselves about the household affairs. Besides, I was considerate to my husband, and never left the housework to him. The neighbors often complimented me, saying I was an understanding wife. You’re too lazy.” Afterward, I couldn’t hold back any longer, and I grumbled at my son about his wife, such a lazy woman. But he was always on his wife’s side. He said, “Her work pressure is heavy. Please don’t compare people of your generation with people of this age. Your thinking is too hidebound and you’re unable to keep up with the current trends. Compared with others of the same age, she is much better. Please don’t nitpick or make too many demands of her, or else our family would be inharmonious.” Hearing his words, I felt terrible and thought to myself, “How can it be that you don’t understand me at all? Am I not for your good, for the family’s good? Alas! …” Disappointedly, I had to keep the grievance in my heart. In pain, it occurred to me that I was a believer in God. So why didn’t I seek the truth on how to treat my daughter-in-law? Just then, I thought of a passage of words in “Sermons and Fellowship on Entry Into Life,” “Since the wildly arrogant man is puffed up with conceit and looks down his nose at others, he is not friendly to others and is unable to treat others as equals, and he can never live in harmony with other people. … The man with a wildly arrogant disposition always regards himself as better than others and no one is his equal. He is unable to see the strengths and good points of others and even if he does see them, he does not accept them at all and only steps up his attacks, and denigrates them. He sees the faults and shortcomings of others with unusual clarity, and he spreads these around at will. He likes in particular to talk about his own strengths, he particularly likes to compliment himself, to exalt himself while denigrating others. The man with a wildly arrogant disposition is always extremely conceited, inclined to be self-centered, making others hold him in high esteem and gather around him. Regardless of what he says and does, others must listen to him and pay close attention to him.” From these words, I realized that it was because of my arrogant disposition…

A couple are see the sunrise, a happily marred couple.

The Way She Dealt With Marital Infidelity

By Jiamei Her husband had an affair, raising a red flag over their decade-long marriage. Her attempts to win his heart back were fruitless. In her pain, she wanted to get back at him in the exact same way, but through God’s guidance she recognized the root of the problem and came out from under the shadow of his betrayal. Her Husband’s Online Entanglement Raises a Red Flag “Uncle, none of that online chatting stuff is real. There are lots of people now using that to cheat people, how could there be anyone there that really wants to meet you?” “I know where to draw the line. Mind your own business….” When Jiamei overheard that exchange between her husband and his niece, her face immediately fell. Why would she say that? Could it be that there was another woman…? After his niece left, Jiamei couldn’t hold herself back. She asked him: “Why did your niece say that? Is there someone else?” He paused for a moment, and then prevaricated: “I just invited an online friend to a couple of meals. There’s nothing between us—don’t let your mind run wild.” Jiamei was incensed—she angrily asked her husband: “A man and a woman go out together just to hang out, to have a meal? Today you may just meet up, but what about tomorrow? What if it continued on like this?” She went on, becoming more and more agitated. “If you’re not happy let’s just get a divorce. We can each take our own path, then we won’t get in each other’s way. Make a choice!” Jiamei appeared indifferent on the surface, but inside she was sad and disappointed, and suffering deeply. She thought, “Could my marriage really end just like this?” She didn’t dare pursue that thought. Her husband didn’t say a word or look at her, but just sat next to her chain smoking with a pained look on his face. Three days later, he left for a work trip. At home, Jiamei couldn’t put her mind at rest, worried that he would meet up with his online friend again, so she called him frequently to see what he was up to. Every time he didn’t pick up the phone she rushed to call his colleague, so every time his colleague wasn’t forthcoming Jiamei was anxious to see what kind of woman her husband was with and what was better about her. However, she never could find where he was working which left her mired in anxiety. Her head was swimming and she couldn’t get anything done—she didn’t even want to eat. She was so tormented that she started to look haggard. Over that period of time their relationship gradually deteriorated. When her husband was off work and at home, when he wasn’t having a meal he’d spend all his time inside chatting with his online friend—he’d stay up well into the night. Jiamei saw how reluctant he was to come home and that he hardly talked to her—if he did, it was curt and he gave her the cold shoulder—but he was enthusiastic about chatting with his friend and wouldn’t even sleep until late at night. This was really painful for her. Unable to hold herself back, she said to him: “It’s already 11! Come to bed.” Shockingly, he rushed at her and yelled: “Then go sleep in another room. Leave me alone!” Seeing his detached, indifferent manner, Jiamei started trembling uncontrollably and said angrily, “If you don’t want to stay together, let’s get a divorce!” But he said: “I won’t be like other men and refuse to take responsibility for my family. I won’t divorce.” Upset and crying, Jiamei left the room. So even though the two of them lived in the same house, they became like strangers under the same roof. Jiamei felt more and more depressed and in pain, and had no idea what to do. Happy Memories of the Past Are Evoked Her husband left when his vacation was over; just Jiamei and their child were left at home. She got up to go out into their courtyard and let out a long sigh, then sat on the stairs gazing up at the starry sky. Occasionally, she’d hear the sound of laughter floating over from the neighbors, and that lovely sound carried her back into the past…. Jiamei had already been through one unsuccessful marriage—her ex-husband was unfaithful and discarded her. Then when she met her current husband, the two of them shared a lot of love at first. She developed chronic meningitis; she suffered from constant headaches and couldn’t do any heavy work. Her husband didn’t turn his back on her at all, but after work every day would come home and cook and do the laundry. He’d even wash her hair for her. If she wanted to have some fruit, he’d brave the winter weather and run around to every fruit stand to bring some back for her. They didn’t have much money at the time, but he used the little savings they had to buy Jiamei a gold necklace just to make her happy. Jiamei took note of his painstaking care for her and felt that she had married the right man—it was very heart-warming for her. She once even asked him, if her condition never improved, would he keep on treating her so well? He solemnly vowed that even if she never got better, he would do so for the rest of their lives. At that moment, Jiamei felt that she had found true love and her own true happiness. Her heart, so wounded in the past, found comfort in her husband—her happiness was incomparable. Jiamei thought, as soon as her condition improved she had to show him even more care and consideration than he had, and spend their lives together in love and harmony. Just as Jiamei had hoped, they helped each other through a decade of hard times, and their relationship stayed strong. At first they were barely…

how to treat middle school dating

God’s Words Teach Me How to Approach Middle School Dating

By Yiyi, United States Teenagers are sentimental, especially when in love; and I was not an exception. But as a Christian, how should I approach puppy love? One day, I got a QQ message from a boy I knew, “Are you online?” “Yes,” I replied. Soon he sent another message, “Yiyi, I … I think I’m falling in love with you.” At the sight of these words, I was so surprised and simply couldn’t believe my eyes. Goggling at them over and over, I knew I didn’t misread them. “How could it be possible? He and I are only acquaintances at school. How come he has feelings for me?” Out of curiosity, I asked, “What part of me attracts you?” “All of you,” answered he. “But I have plenty of faults.” “I don’t care. Everyone has shortcomings.” Pleased by his words, I couldn’t help thinking, “Maybe I can make friends with him first and see what he is like.” So, I started to interact with him. During our interaction, I found that he was not only handsome, but also nice to me. He often patiently helped me with my homework; every day he showed great concern for me, always saying, “Take care of yourself and go to bed early,” or “Don’t study too hard; take a break when tired.” I felt warmth and happiness, as if I were the heroine in a soap opera, fussed over by the hero every day. Gradually I fell in love with him and often imagined how happy we would be in the future. Not long after, he asked me if I was willing to be his girlfriend. Hearing this, I was very happy, thinking, “Should I say yes? He’s so nice to me and cares about me so much; I’ll be happy with him.” But then I had a second thought, “I’m not old enough to date. If I start a relationship with him, it will certainly affect my studies, and I’ll be in no mood to attend gatherings or read God’s words. What should I do?” After a struggle, I refused him and decided to remain my friendship with him. However, things were not as simple as I had imagined. He started to come into my life. He often actively chatted with me online. Sometimes, when I was doing my homework, he sent me a message and I would stop to chat with him, thus failing to focus on my studies. I couldn’t even settle down to read God’s words in the evening, because what he said to me always floated into my mind; gradually, instead of reading God’s words, I started chatting with him until late into the night. At that time, I often wondered, “Is he my Mr. Right? Should I start a relationship with him? If I’m with him, I’ll be very happy. What’s more, many students are in a relationship, so it’s normal that we date each other.” Thus, I agreed to be his girlfriend and indulged in puppy love. As a result, I not only was in no mood to study but also got further and further from God. Though I knew it was not good for me to experience puppy love, I couldn’t extricate myself from it and indulged in chatting with him every day; whenever I had a free moment, my mind would be occupied with him. In those days, I often came before God and prayed, “Oh God! Now I’m in no mood to study or read Your words, but indulge in his sweet words every day. I know I shouldn’t fall in love at this age, but I enjoy it, unable to extricate myself from it. What should I do? Oh God! Please help me.” One day, he texted me, “Now we’re freshmen in high school. As the saying goes, ‘Lovers will embrace in freshmen year, will kiss in sophomore year, and in senior year …’ You know what I mean.” At the sight of his frivolous words, I felt a little disgusted and didn’t want to chat with him. Unexpectedly, he then sent another message, “If you don’t give me what I want, I’ll get it by force.” Upon seeing this, I lost my affection for him and felt very angry that he actually disrespected me. Never did I expect that behind his concern and care was his evil motive. It was then that I knew teenagers’ love is just an impulse without any sincerity and that most times their purposes are to fulfill their own selfish desires. Later, one day, I talked with a sister about this matter. After hearing what I said, she fellowshiped with me, “Nowadays it’s a common phenomenon that teenagers are indulging in puppy love. This is caused by the evil trends of society. Satan uses various methods to deceive and corrupt us. We don’t have the truth or discernment, so we will follow the evil trends of Satan, thinking that it is normal to have a relationship at a young age. This is Satan fooling us.” Then, she sent two passages of God’s words to me: “For example, if you were watching a television show, what sort of things in it could change your view? Would what the performers said, the words themselves, be able to corrupt people? (No.) What sort of things would corrupt people? It would be the core thoughts and content of the show, which would represent the director’s views, and the information carried in these views could sway people’s hearts and minds.” “One after another, all these trends carry an evil influence that continually degenerates man, causing them to continually lose conscience, humanity and reason, and that lowers their morals and their quality of character more and more, to the extent that we can even say the majority of people now have no integrity, no humanity, neither do they have any conscience, much less any reason. … For man who is not of sound body and mind, who never knows what is…

Christian Marriage Story: No Longer Complaining, She Has a Happy Marriage

Christian Marriage Story: No Longer Complaining, She Has a Happy Marriage

By Zhang Jun Editor’s Notes: She went to a rich woman’s wedding, and after she got home, she was disgusted with her husband, and with the fact that her marriage lacked “bread.” Her relationship with her husband became difficult and gridlocked, and she lived in suffering. But then she discovered that although marriages with “bread” are glamorous, there is hidden sadness and pain behind them. She is suddenly enlightened, no longer complains about her husband, and realizes that her marriage is the best. How did she achieve this change? Read on to find out … One morning, a ray of sunshine shined into the house and painted the floor a golden color. Qianhui opened her eyes and stretched, but just as she was about to get out of bed, the phone rang. She picked up and heard her friend Lili on the other end of the line. “Qianhui, I’m getting married next Sunday, you have to come! …” When she heard the good news of her friend’s marriage, Qianhui was happy for her. She thought, “So many people tried to introduce a boyfriend for Lili, and all the men’s families had good backgrounds, but she was never satisfied. Now she’s getting married, so her husband’s family must be very well off.” On the day of Lili’s wedding, Qianhui woke up early to get dressed and do her makeup. She arrived at Lili’s house around 10, and when she walked in the door, she was shocked at the new house she saw, its wide living room, beautiful decoration, and fashionable, luxurious furniture…. The house could only be described as “magnificent.” The seed of admiration was planted in her heart: No wonder Lili got married! Her husband must be incredibly rich! Then, when Qianhui arrived at the wedding, she was even more shocked by the luxury on display: The wedding was held at a star-ranked hotel, the MC was the most famous host in the area, and all the cars in the procession were each brand’s most high-end models. As she took in what was before her, Qianhui was both envious and jealous. She couldn’t help but sigh and think, “In school, in both grades and looks, I was superior to Lili, but now, I’m lagging in every respect. Never mind the grandeur of the wedding, even the house I’ve lived in for years is still just a common bungalow. I could work all my life and still never live a life as luxurious as Lili’s.” Qianhui felt very lost, and she began to regret having simple standards when she first started looking for a boyfriend. She had only asked that her future partner be honest and that they be able to live a happy life together in the future, resulting in a careless search which produced a husband without the ability to earn money. If she could do it all over again, she thought, she would find a rich man with a house and a car. Well, it’s too late for that now. Qianhui shook her head helplessly. To keep herself from being immersed in sense of loss, she chatted with a few friends she hadn’t seen for a long time. But her friends were also showing off about their husbands’ work, income, family houses, cars…. Compared to her friends, Qianhui felt that she had nothing worth showing off. Qianhui’s self-esteem was seriously frustrated, and her mood fell. She couldn’t sit still anymore, so she simply ate and left in a hurry. When she got home, scenes of what she saw at the wedding floated through Qianhui’s mind. All her friends seemed to be doing better than she was. She didn’t have much money, didn’t have a car, and didn’t even have a condo unit in an apartment building, never mind the trappings of a luxurious life. The more she thought, the more aggrieved she felt. She thought she felt so lost now because her husband was incompetent. If her husband came from a family that was better off, or if he could make a lot of money, then wouldn’t she also have a house and a car, and a petty bourgeoisie lifestyle, and show off in front of her friends? The thought made everything she saw at home ugly to her, especially her husband’s clumsy honesty, weakness, and incompetence, which became infuriating to her. Whenever her husband did something that was the slightest bit displeasing, she found an excuse to lose her temper with him as a way to vent her dissatisfaction. Every time her husband saw Qianhui unhappy, he would try to comfort her. Although Qianhui knew her husband treated her well and let her have her way in everything, she always felt humiliated. She didn’t want to live such an ordinary life, where an escape from poverty seemed impossible. And so, her originally harmonious and comfortable family life was now spent quarreling. Gradually, Qianhui felt that her husband had changed. In the past, he came back from work and helped her with housework as he talked to her, but now he was cold to her. He started playing games on his phone whenever he had nothing to do, and he barely talked to her. His strange behavior made Qianhui even more frustrated. She thought, “It was humiliating enough to marry you, and now you treat me like this. I really can’t live like this!” The more she thought about it, the more aggrieved and miserable she felt. She didn’t know how to go on. Later, Qianhui accepted God’s last days’ gospel. She often went to meetings with her brothers and sisters to read the words of God. As she interacted with her brothers and sisters, she saw that everyone was very honest and kind. If anyone had difficulties or was confused, they could discuss things openly together and seek truth in God’s words. There was no superiority or inferiority between them, no one looked down on anyone else, and everyone helped, supported, and supplied each other. Everyone…

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