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Today’s Gospel And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall join to his wife: and they two shall be one flesh? – Matthew 19:5 Reflection Marriage is a key event in the life of every one of us. We harbor many illusions about marriage before we experience it ourselves. But marriage is not a matter of individual choice, it is predetermined by God. Just as God’s words say, “Marriage is an important juncture in a person’s life. It is the product of a person’s fate, a crucial link in one’s fate; it is not founded on any person’s individual volition or preferences, and is not influenced by any external factors, but is completely determined by the fates of the two parties, by the Creator’s arrangements and predeterminations regarding the fates of the couple.” “A marriage is not the product of both members’ families, the circumstances in which they grew up, their appearances, their ages, their qualities, their talents, or any other factors; rather, it arises from a shared mission and a related fate. This is the origin of marriage, a product of human fate orchestrated and arranged by the Creator.” From God’s words we can understand that our marriage is not decided by our appearances, families, ages, preferences or other external factors, but presided over and predestined by God. » You may be interested in reading more: • How She Chose a Right Life Partner • God’s Love Hidden Behind a Late Marriage • God’s Will in Marriage: How Does God Show You Who to Marry?
By She Qi, China Marriage is a major thing in everyone’s life, so how can we choose a right life partner in a way that will ensure happiness? What are your criteria for selecting a spouse? These days, more and more women want to marry someone tall, rich and handsome, and more and more men want to marry a beautiful woman. People think that as long as they have money and are able to enjoy a lavish material life, they’ll be happy. But is that kind of perspective on marriage accurate? What really is true happiness? Here Qiao Yin and Qi Zheng, a couple worthy of our admiration, break down what happiness really is. Quick Navigation Could These Feelings Be Wrong? God’s Words Reveal the Root of Human Suffering Happiness Was Right There All Along Qiao Yin met Qi Zheng during her first year in college. He came from a humble family, and over the first year they knew each other, she found him to be a truly kind man. They fell in love. Qiao Yin told him that she was a Christian and she shared God’s gospel of the last days with him. Qi Zheng joyfully accepted the work of God. The two of them frequently attended gatherings and read God’s words together—they talked about everything. Every day she spent with Qi Zheng was a very happy day, and she frequently gave thanks to God from the heart for having met him. Could These Feelings Be Wrong? Once word spread of their relationship, Qiao Yin’s family was very opposed to it and did their utmost to break them up, and even her roommates didn’t think much of their prospects. Qiao Yin didn’t care about others’ opposition; she was determined to stay with Qi Zheng. Realizing that she really was set on spending her life with him, the people around her gave her “kind” words of advice. “Look, your family conditions are not bad and you’re good-looking. Why would you date someone who’s poor? Have you thought about what life will be like from here on out? The way our society is now, after you graduate you won’t be able to get a good job unless you can pull some strings. How could someone without any money or influence have useful connections? If you stay with him, I guarantee you won’t have an easy life. I have a friend who’s tall, rich, and handsome—I’ll introduce you. As long as you’re willing to break up with Qi Zheng you two definitely stand a chance.” “Isn’t finding a good partner a woman’s lifelong wish? Just look at what a house and a car cost today. If you’re with someone who has nothing but the shirt on his back, you’re going to have to struggle for years and years to get those things. And then when you have a kid it’ll be even harder!” “You need to be realistic. Qi Zheng really does have feelings for you, but can the feelings between you now pay the bills? Can he provide you with a comfortable life? You know what they say—love can’t make you happy if your pantry is bare. While you’re still young, find someone with family money.” Qiao Yin heard lots of things like this, and while on the surface she appeared to reject all of it and she refused to break up with Qi Zheng, a seed of doubt was planted in her heart. And she saw that her roommates Yaoyao and Xiaowen had each gone through several boyfriends since starting college, each richer and more charismatic than the last. They went on dates to fancy restaurants, and even when it wasn’t a special occasion their boyfriends would send them big bouquets of blue roses or even cellphones, name-brand purses, and other luxury products. Sometimes they’d even pick them up and drop them off in a car. It was really romantic and impressive. This particularly gave Qiao Yin an odd feeling of envy as well as jealousy. Before she knew it, Qiao Yin started feeling dissatisfied with Qi Zheng. Even though he was very kind and was really devoted to her, he was too down-to-earth and frugal in his day-to-day life. They only ever went on inexpensive dates, going to free parks and getting snacks from roadside stalls. There weren’t any lavish gifts or high-class restaurants—she’d never experienced those things. When she took him out to have dinner with friends he was always on a lower rung than her friends’ boyfriends. Mulling over all of these things, Qiao Yin felt more and more discontent. During that time her friends were all talking about how their boyfriends had promised to buy them a house and a car after getting married, and what really stuck out for her was that her cousin had a boyfriend who already owned two homes. She felt really upset every time her family compared her cousin’s boyfriend to Qi Zheng. After that, Qiao Yin kept trying to suss out how much savings Qi Zheng’s parents had and if they’d be able to buy them a house and car if they got married. Every time she brought this up, she put him in a really awkward position; he’d explain in a quiet voice that his parents didn’t have any money, then go on in a louder voice to say that in the future he’d work hard to earn money. Every time she heard him say this Qiao Yin felt an inexplicable rage and often wouldn’t even acknowledge him. She’d throw a fit for at least a few hours, sometimes for a day or two. The things those closer to her had been saying were always in mind, and she started to think that if she could find a guy from a well-off family, she’d have a much more comfortable life, but if she married someone poor and started with nothing, wouldn’t that be a loss? At some point things their once-happy love affair became very complicated, and conflicts…
What does the Bible say about marriage? Read these 10 Bible verses about marriage and they can help you understand God’s will and solve your problems in marriage. Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall join to his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Proverbs 18:22 Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the LORD. Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed? Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falls; for he has not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Proverbs 31:10-12 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.The heart of her husband does safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. Matthew 19:6 Why they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder. Song of Solomon 8:6-7 Set me as a seal on your heart, as a seal on your arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which has a most vehement flame.Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned. 1 Peter 3：1 Likewise, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. Genesis 3:16 To the woman he said, I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in sorrow you shall bring forth children; and your desire shall be to your husband, and he shall rule over you. » We’d like to share with you the articles about marriage: • Christian Marriage: How to Let Go of Hatred of Husband • A Story of Newly-weds: How I Gained a Happy Marriage • God’s Love Hidden Behind a Late Marriage
He suffered from frequent quarrels with his wife. Not until he found the solution from God’s words could he live harmoniously with his wife.
He suffered failure in blind date time after time and finally got married. Only after believing in God did he understand that marriage is preordained and controlled by God, and that he should learn to wait.
As one grows older and matures, one grows more distant from one’s parents and the environment in which one was born and raised, and instead one begins to seek a direction for one’s life and pursue one’s own life goals in a way of life different from one’s parents. During this time one no longer needs one’s parents, but rather a partner with whom one can spend one’s life: a spouse, a person with whom one’s fate is intimately entwined. In this way, the first major event that one faces following independence is marriage, the fourth juncture one must pass through. 1. One Has No Choice About Marriage Marriage is a key event in any person’s life; it is the time when one starts truly to assume various kinds of responsibilities, begins gradually to fulfill various kinds of missions. People harbor many illusions about marriage before they experience it themselves, and all these illusions are beautiful. Women imagine that their other halves will be Prince Charming, and men imagine that they will marry Snow White. These fantasies go to show that every person has certain requirements for marriage, their own set of demands and standards. Though in this evil age people are constantly bombarded with distorted messages about marriage, which create even more additional requirements and give people all sorts of baggage and strange attitudes, any person who has experienced marriage knows that no matter how one understands it, no matter what one’s attitude toward it is, marriage is not a matter of individual choice. One encounters many people in one’s life, but no one knows who will become one’s partner in marriage. Though everyone has their own ideas and personal stances on the subject of marriage, no one can foresee who will finally become their true other half, and one’s own notions count for little. After meeting a person you like, you can pursue that person; but whether he or she is interested in you, whether he or she is able to become your partner, is not yours to decide. The object of your affections is not necessarily the person with whom you will be able to share your life; and meanwhile someone you never expected quietly enters your life and becomes your partner, becomes the most important element in your fate, your other half, to whom your fate is inextricably bound. And so, though there are millions of marriages in the world, every one is different: How many marriages are unsatisfactory, how many are happy; how many span East and West, how many North and South; how many are perfect matches, how many are of equal rank; how many are happy and harmonious, how many painful and sorrowful; how many are the envy of others, how many are misunderstood and frowned upon; how many are full of joy, how many are awash of tears and cause despair…. In these myriad marriages, humans reveal loyalty and lifelong commitment toward marriage, or love, attachment, and inseparability, or resignation and incomprehension, or betrayal of it, even hatred. Whether marriage itself brings happiness or pain, everyone’s mission in marriage is predestined by the Creator and will not change; everyone must fulfill it. And the individual fate that lies behind every marriage is unchanging; it was determined long in advance by the Creator. 2. Marriage Is Born of the Fates of Two Partners Marriage is an important juncture in a person’s life. It is the product of a person’s fate, a crucial link in one’s fate; it is not founded on any person’s individual volition or preferences, and is not influenced by any external factors, but is completely determined by the fates of the two parties, by the Creator’s arrangements and predeterminations regarding the fates of the couple. On the surface of it, the purpose of marriage is to continue the human race, but in truth marriage is nothing but a ritual that one undergoes in the process of fulfilling one’s mission. The roles that people play in marriage are not merely those of rearing the next generation; they are the various roles that one assumes and the missions one must fulfill in the course of maintaining a marriage. Since one’s birth influences the change of the people, events, and things around one, one’s marriage will also inevitably affect them, and furthermore, will transform them in various different ways. When one becomes independent, one begins one’s own journey in life, which leads one step by step toward the people, events, and things related to one’s marriage; and at the same time, the other person who will make up that marriage is approaching, step by step, toward those same people, events, and things. Under the Creator’s sovereignty, two unrelated people who share a related fate gradually enter into a marriage and become, miraculously, a family, “two locusts clinging to the same rope.” So when one enters into a marriage, one’s journey in life will influence and touch upon one’s other half, and likewise one’s partner’s journey in life will influence and touch upon one’s fate in life. In other words, human fates are interconnected, and no one can fulfill one’s mission in life or perform one’s role completely independently from others. One’s birth has a bearing on a huge chain of relationships; growing up also involves a complex chain of relationships; and similarly, a marriage inevitably exists and maintains in a vast and complex web of human connections, involving every member and influencing the fate of everyone who is a part of it. A marriage is not the product of both members’ families, the circumstances in which they grew up, their appearances, their ages, their qualities, their talents, or any other factors; rather, it arises from a shared mission and a related fate. This is the origin of marriage, a product of human fate orchestrated and arranged by the Creator. » You may be interested in reading more on our Christian Life page about Marriage Testimonies : • God’s Will in Marriage: How Does…