Who Heals the Wounds in Her Heart and Gives Her a Warm Home

By Xiaolin, United States

My family was broken up.

A loud noise broke the stillness of the night, and it stirred me and my elder sister from sleep. I knew that father and mother were again quarreling. Since mother knew father had an affair, she smiled less and less, and as soon as father was mentioned, a faint look of complaint and sorrow would come into her eyes. Also from then on, they never stopped quarreling, and I was unable to remember how many times they had quarreled. Now, my elder sister and I cried and ran to their bedroom. When seeing father was trying to beat mother as he shouted abuse at her, I ran forward and tightly gripped his arm with tears in my eyes, but I failed to stop him because of his being too strong for me. That night, two of mother’s rigs were broken. This time, she could not bear living such a life anymore, so she went to other parts of the country for work.

the Pain That My Husband Had an Affair

However, father did not change a little bit as a result, but as usual, often stayed out all night and did not care about my sister and me, so that we had to go and live with our grandparents. Every day, on our way to and from school, seeing other kids were all accompanied by their parents while my sister and I were alone, I felt we were especially lonely. Because of such a home environment, my test scores, which were originally good, went down sharply. What I feared most was the teacher-parent meeting that my school convened, because when my head teacher did not see my parents there, he would ask me about it. At that moment, I always kept my head down with tears in my eyes and didn’t say a word, not wanting to talk about this topic.

I remembered that one time when I returned home after school, I knocked at the door for a long time, but no one answered. Standing outside, I, for the first time, felt as if I had had no home to return to. Later, a neighboring aunt saw me standing outside alone, and she thereupon took me to her home. No sooner had I entered than I saw her son telling to his family all kinds of funny things that he had encountered at school. Seeing their whole family was joyous, I was extremely envious of them and thought to myself: If father had not had an affair, mother would not have left us. Then every day after I come home from school, I could have also, like other children, been capable of enjoying delicious food prepared by my mother, hearing her nagging, acting like a spoiled child in her arms, and enjoying the warmth of family. But now, they were just fantasies! I hated my father for what he had done, because it was he who personally destroyed our family, making me lose the warmth of family since childhood.

My parents failed to get back together.

As I gradually grew up, I became more sensible. When my sister and I saw that when mother occasionally called home, father began to ask us about her situation, which gave us an impression that his attitude toward mom seemed to have changed somewhat, we started to persuade mother to come back. At last, she agreed and stepped onto the way back home. At that time, both my sister and I thought that maybe our family could become complete. However, the fact was not like what we imagined. In the following days, father still often indulged in debauchery outside, and, just as he always did before, shouted abuse at and beat mother, and threw things. “Let’s get divorced.” became their oft-spoken words, and they frequently asked me and my sister: “If we get divorced, whom will you choose to live with?” I was extremely unwilling to make a choice, and every time they asked like this, my sister and I could do nothing but only express our unwillingness by crying.

In order to change all of this, I wiped tears from my face, and decided to live in a different way—to make myself a real delight in our family. So I made myself optimistic and positive, and tried to infect my family with my laughter, expecting that, through my efforts, the conflicts between my parents could be resolved one day. However, things were not like what I imagined. Although I was able to often crack them up, their smiles, like fireworks, were just brilliant for a short while. When I was eighteen, my parents still got divorced. Mother took me and my sister and left the home, which made her broken-hearted, and then rented a small house outside.

Not long after, I went back home to fetch something, only to find that my key could not go in the lock. After a while I learned from a neighbor that as soon as we moved out, father changed the lock. Also I was told that father had brought home the woman with whom he had an affair, as well as her son, and that some time ago, they even went out to travel together, and father also bought many things for them. On hearing this, I felt a fit of sadness in my heart that was hard to describe, and thought to myself: Why is it that others’ families are joyous and full of laughter, while mine is always cold and full of quarrels? When will I be able to have a warm home?

When will I be able to have a warm home
When will I be able to have a warm home

God’s love warmed my cold heart.

Just when I was in distress and despair, one of my mother’s classmates preached the gospel of God to us.

I saw God’s words say: “The Almighty has mercy on these people who suffer deeply. At the same time, He is fed up with these people who have no consciousness, because He has to wait too long for the answer from humans. He desires to seek, seek your heart and your spirit. He wants to bring you food and water and to awaken you, so you are no longer thirsty, no longer hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel the desolation of this world, do not be perplexed, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival any time. He is watching by your side, waiting for you to turn back. He is waiting for the day your memory suddenly recovers: becoming conscious of the fact that you came from God, somehow and somewhere once lost, falling unconscious on the roadside, and then, unknowingly having a father. You further realize that the Almighty has been watching there, awaiting your return all along.

These eager calls of God truly warmed my heart. From an early age, I neither had a happy childhood nor enjoyed the warmth and care of family; I leaded a particularly miserable and hopeless life without direction. God’s words, like a beam of light in darkness, lighted up my way ahead and my wandering heart finally found a place where it belonged to. Then I knelt to pray, spoke the words within my heart to God, and committed my future life to God’s hands, letting God lead me through every day.

I understood the root cause of my family being broken up.

One time at a gathering, one sister shared with us a passage of God’s words : “One after another, all these trends carry an evil influence that continually degenerates man, causing them to continually lose conscience, humanity and reason, and that lowers their morals and their quality of character more and more, to the extent that we can even say the majority of people now have no integrity, no humanity, neither do they have any conscience, much less any reason. So what are these trends? You cannot see these trends with the naked eye. When the wind of a trend blows through, perhaps only a small number of people will become the trendsetters. They start off doing this kind of thing, accepting this kind of idea or this kind of perspective. The majority of people, however, in the midst of their unawareness, will still be continually infected, assimilated and attracted by this kind of trend, until they all unknowingly and involuntarily accept it, and are all submerged in and controlled by it. For man who is not of sound body and mind, who never knows what is truth, who cannot tell the difference between positive and negative things, these kinds of trends one after another make them all willingly accept these trends, the life view and values that come from Satan. They accept what Satan tells them on how to approach life and the way to live that Satan ‘bestows’ on them. They have not the strength, neither do they have the ability, much less the awareness to resist.

When will I be able to have a warm home

After she finished reading God’s words, brothers and sisters discussed their understanding and knowledge of God’s words. Through their fellowship, I understood that Satan creates all kinds of evil trends, and uses those prevailing fallacies in society to deceive and corrupt mankind, such as “Seize the day for pleasure, for life is short,” “Enjoy yourself today,” “A spouse at home and a lover outside,” etc. Because we humans have no truth, we simply do not know how to distinguish between righteousness and wickedness, between positive things and negative things, much less have the awareness to resist the evil trends brought about by Satan. We unwittingly accept these viewpoints and begin to live according to them, becoming more and more degenerate and evil.

Now, I thought of my father. He originally was responsible to our family and cared for us. However, after he went to other parts of the country for work and saw people around him all followed the evil trends, he gradually began to like to indulge in debauchery in the dance hall and chat online, thinking that only this kind of life was full of color and flavor. Later, he even had an affair. He cared only for enjoying himself, showed disregard for mother’s feelings, and also no concern for me and my sister. What he did brought the whole family nothing but much pain, and even caused our family to be broken up in the end. Now, from God’s words, I understood that the root cause of our family breaking apart was the evil trends created by Satan. Actually, father was also a victim of these evil trends. He didn’t believe in God and had no truth, so how could he be able to resist the attack of the evil trends? Though his actions were detestable, what was even more detestable was that Satan uses evil trends to constantly entice and corrupt people, which led to so many families being torn apart.

God gave me a warm home.

Since my family believed in God, brothers and sisters often came to our home to teach us to sing hymns and dance to praise God, and most importantly, regardless of the wind or rain, they would come to gather with us. Later I began to perform my duty. In the church, my brothers and sisters and I all seek to put God’s words into practice, and each of us opens our heart during our interaction with each other, leading a happy life. Besides, whatever difficulties or troubles I faced, they would help and sustain me through fellowshiping God’s words with me, so that I could find the way of practice, and no longer live in negativity and weakness. In our church life, brothers and sisters shared their gains from experiencing God’s work, through which we knew God more practically, and had a better understanding of God’s will. I felt such church life was abundant, and I could gain a lot from every meeting.

Besides, in the church, my brothers and sisters cared for and loved me more than my family did, which made me feel all warm inside. When it got cold, they gave their new quilts to me, while they themselves used the old ones. When I returned home late, the meals they had prepared for me were always kept cooking in the pot. When I encountered problems that I couldn’t resolve, they always tried their best to help me. When I was going to another place for work, they, with tears in their eyes, exhorted me to rely on God and pursue the truth hard. Their warm eyes and kind words are unforgettable for me even today. I knew deeply that their love for me all came from God’s love, and it was God’s love that made us meet in the house of God and bound us together, enabling me to have a warm family.

Later, I saw God’s words say: “What you eat and wear is different to them; you enjoy the words of God, and lead a life of meaning—and what do they enjoy? They enjoy only the legacy of their ancestors and the ‘national spirit.’ They have not the slightest trace of humanity! Your clothes, words, and actions are all different from theirs. Ultimately, you will completely leave the filth, no longer be ensnared in the temptation of Satan, and gain God’s daily provision. You should always be cautious. Though you live in a filthy place you are untainted with filth and can live alongside God, receiving His great protection. You have been chosen among all on this yellow land. Aren’t you the most blessed people?” Thank God for allowing me to have the good fortune to follow Him and return to His side. From His words, I have learned to discern the despicable methods of Satan afflicting people, which made me keep away from the evil trends of society and the temptations of Satan, so that I was able not to be deceived by the evil trends. I thought of many of my classmates who have good living conditions, and whose parents always prepared everything for them. They were especially pampered and vain, and even began at an early age to date or stay in a hotel room with boys. They were also seductively dressed and heavily made up, and went to KTV, games arcade, and so on, leading a debauched life.

Now look back on myself. Though I had an unhappy family and it caused me to suffer a lot, I gradually learned to be independent these years and was able to take care of myself, and learned to bravely face difficulties in my life. Moreover, I really tasted Satan’s affliction on mankind in such a family background. And I also experienced that I’m not lonely because God is always by my side, He protects me, and He watches me grow up. And He brought me to His family where I have enjoyed the true warmth of family. Thank God for giving me this best gift—a warm home—when I was eighteen. My hopes of many years were finally realized.

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