Who Is My Support in Times of Life and Death?
My name is Liu Mei and I’m 62. Earlier this year, a sudden illness affected me and made me quite helpless. In that life-and-death crisis, I had no family by my side and I could onlyand rely on Him to save me. Through the experience, I saw that life and death are in God’s hands and God is our only rock.
At about midnight on February 10, 2018, my blood pressure increased suddenly, which caused a cerebral thrombosis. At that moment, my heart palpitated violently, and I felt panicked. Also, I felt so much tightness in my chest that I almost couldn’t breathe. In this condition, I felt I could die at any time. I was so afraid, and I wanted to call my daughter and son-in-law for help, but I couldn’t voice any words. I lay on the bed, unable to move at all as I was so weak. I thought, “What can I do? I’ve been suddenly struck by an illness and neither of them knows. It’s a long time before dawn. If I die, no one will know …” The more I thought of this, the more I was afraid. So I hurriedly prayed to God, “O God! Now I don’t have the ability to move or call my family. I can only rely on You. Whether I will die or survive this night, I’m willing to commit it into Your hands and let You rule over and arrange everything.” After praying, I remembered God’s words, “Almighty God is an all-powerful physician! To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well. So long as you still have one breath, God will not let you die.” God’s words gave me faith. Though my daughter wasn’t by my side, I thought, “The One I believe in is Almighty God. My life is in God’s hands, and so whether I will die or not is decided by God.” Thinking of this, I wasn’t so afraid, and I lay there without knowing for how long until I slowly fell unconscious.
The next morning, my daughter saw that I still wasn’t out of my room at about 8 o’clock, so she came into my room to wake me. When she saw me lying coma-like with an ashen face she was very frightened and cried loudly, “Mom, what’s going on? Mom! What’s wrong with you? …” Then I faintly heard my daughter crying and my son-in-law speaking, and thereupon I gradually came to my senses and feebly opened my eyes. On seeing me awake, my daughter lifted me up quickly. However, my mind was unclear. Furthermore, my tongue was stiff, so I couldn’t say a word, and my eyes were so blurred that I could not see them clearly. In a daze, I heard them say they were going to send me to the hospital. Then I blacked out again.
I did not know how much time passed before I recovered my senses again. I realized I was in an ambulance. But I still couldn’t move, and I was suffocating and unable to speak, as if I was dying. I could do nothing but pray to God silently, “Dear God! Please save me. God! Only You can save me.” After a short while, I fainted again.
The next time I came around and opened my eyes, I saw my son-in-law keeping watch by my bedside. I asked him with great difficulty, “Where am I?” Seeing me awake from my coma, he was so happy and answered me quickly, “Mom, you’ve finally come round. We are in the hospital and you have been in a coma for three days.” At that time, my head was still dizzy, and I felt as if I had slept for a long time. I was limp and weak all over, and was unable to move. And when I spoke, I had great difficulty in breathing and was inarticulate because of my stiff tongue. But at least my mind was clear.
When I heard what my son-in-law said, my first thought was that God was beside me watching over and protecting me. It was because God had listened to my prayer and saved me that I repeatedly came out of the coma during those three days. Thinking of this, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down my face, and I continually thanked God in my heart. That afternoon, I felt a little better and I could turn my body over.
Later, the doctor came and said to my son-in-law, “Your mother’s mouth is crooked and she’s speaking with a lisp. These are the signs of a stroke. Maybe she will suffer from Alzheimer’s disease in the future.” Hearing this, my son-in-law didn’t speak for a long time. I couldn’t help worrying myself by thinking, “Alzheimer’s disease? Doesn’t that mean I will be an imbecile? What will I do if that happens?” The more I thought of this, the more scared I was and the more awful I felt. But then I thought of God’s words, “Of everything that occurs in the universe, there is nothing in which I do not have the final say. Is there anything that is not in My hands?” God’s words calmed me down. I prayed to God silently, “O God! Hearing what the doctor said, I felt a bit scared. But I believe all things are in Your hands, as is my fate. I’m willing to entrust my life to You.” After the prayer, I became less afraid than before. To my surprise, my condition improved quickly. On the fourth day of my hospitalization, I could get up and walk around by myself.
The next day just happened to be Chinese New Year’s Eve. Seeing my condition had improved, my son-in-law didn’t want me to spend the New Year in the hospital, so he asked the doctor to prescribe medication for me for a week so that I could take it at home during that time. The doctor said, “Her condition is serious and she is just getting a little better. She won’t have any safety net at home.” Finally, because of the repeated requests of my son-in-law, the doctor agreed to prescribe me medicine for five days and asked me to definitely come back to the hospital on the sixth day.
After I got back home, my younger daughter came from her home far away to look after me. At about 1:00 a.m. on the second day after I got home, my heart began thumping wildly again. I was afraid that I would have a relapse, so I asked my younger daughter to fetch the medicine for me. However, when she was getting out of the bed to get the medicine, she suddenly sat down motionless on the edge of the bed. Her face was very pale and there was sweat all over her head. I felt something was wrong, so I called my elder daughter on the phone quickly. After a short while, my elder daughter and my son-in-law rushed into my room and then took my younger daughter to the hospital in a hurry.
At that time, they were so flustered that they forgot that I was also a patient. After they left, I quickly prayed to God, “O God! Now there is no one to take care of me. Whether I will relapse is in Your hands. I can only depend on You. And I’m willing to entrust my daughter’s illness into Your hands.” After the prayer, I calmed down slowly, but I was still worried about my daughter’s condition, so I couldn’t sleep. I had no choice but to call out to God, and then I remembered God’s words, “Who is able to protect themselves? Are people able to provide for themselves? Who are the strong ones in life? Who is able to leave Me and live on their own?” From God’s words, I understood that everything in our lives is dominated by God. In the past, I always thought that we could only rely on family in a crisis. However, when I was very ill, and was on the brink of death, my family was not beside me and no one could save me. But after I called out to God, God protected me secretly all the while. Even though my younger daughter returned to look after me, she also unexpectedly fell ill. As a result, not only did she fail to take care of me, but she also needed to be taken care of. Not until then did I truly experience that only God was my support, and that we human beings can’t even control ourselves, much less can we control others. Thinking of this, I prayed to God in my heart, “God! I’m willing to entrust my illness into Your hands. How my condition will develop is ruled over and arranged by You. I’m willing to obey You. My daughter’s illness is also in Your hands, so my anxiety about her is in vain. I’m willing to entrust everything to You.” After this prayer, I no longer felt so anxious. That morning, my younger daughter phoned me to tell me that she’d got better. That afternoon she was discharged from hospital.
Over the next few days, my condition took a turn for the better and I could gradually take care of myself. On the fifth day after I came back home, my daughter was rather worried about my health, so she took me back to the hospital. After examining me, the doctor told me, “You have made a remarkable recovery. Just stay here for a few days, then you can be discharged.” A woman patient in the same ward said to me admiringly, “When I came to the hospital, I was just a little nauseated. And now I can’t get out of bed. Whereas you were sent here in an ambulance and now you are making such good progress toward recovery that you can get out of bed and walk by yourself. You don’t look like a patient at all. It’s really a marvel!” Another patient also said, “In our village, there were two persons suffering from the same illness as you. One ended up having Alzheimer’s and the other never revived from a coma after several days. So you are very lucky.” Hearing these words, I smiled and thanked God in my heart. I then thought of God’s words, “Who of the whole of mankind is not cared for in the eyes of the Almighty? Who does not live in the midst of the Almighty’s predestination? Does man’s life and death happen by his own choice?” God’s words made me understand that people’s lives, deaths, good fortune and misfortune are all in His hands. Logically speaking, I shouldn’t have survived the illness, but when I called out to God, God protected me through it. It wasn’t because of my good luck, but was because of God’s protection and love for me.
After I left the hospital, my family was still worried about my condition, so they took me to have a check-up in a hospital specializing in apoplexy. After checking my case history and my original diagnosis, the attending doctor looked at me in astonishment and said, “You’re really fortunate! Many people can’t speak clearly or walk normally after having a stroke. But you have recovered well, and there are no after-effects.” Hearing this, I thanked God’s love from my heart again.
Afterward, my daughter said to me many times, “The day you got ill it seemed that you were dying, and I was so scared and didn’t know what to do. We sent you to the township hospital, but when the doctors saw you in a coma, they said that your condition was too serious and refused to treat you. They told us to call an ambulance to take you to the county hospital for emergency treatment. After we got to the county hospital, the doctor examined you and said you had a cerebral thrombosis and had the symptoms of a stroke. Who would have thought that you would recover so quickly? It’s really a marvel!” I told her, “All these were God’s wonderful deeds. If I had not relied on Almighty God, maybe I’d be dead. It was Almighty God who allowed me to survive.”
At present, my body has recovered well, so whenever I have time, I listen to recitations of God’s words and hymns and watch various videos produced by The Church of Almighty God at home. I also attend church meetings with my brothers and sisters, and I perform my duty in the church. I feel very happy and peaceful in my heart.
If not for my personal experience, my knowledge of God’s authority and almightiness would still be merely a matter of words and doctrines, without any reality to it. Through this experience, I have truly seen God’s wondrous deeds and felt that God is right by our side controlling our everything and watching over and protecting us at every moment. Just as God’s words say, “He speaks quietly to mankind and all of creation with His silent words: ‘I am in the heavens, and I am amongst My creation. I am keeping watch; I am waiting; I am at your side….’ His hands are warm and strong; His footsteps are light; His voice is soft and graceful; His form passes and turns, embracing all of mankind; His countenance is beautiful and gentle. He has never left, never vanished. Day and night, He is mankind’s constant companion, never to leave their side.”
The value offor me is beyond calculation, so I don’t know what I can do to repay God. My only wish is to do my very best to perform the duties that He entrusts me with. Thank God!