The love of God

By Ziyi, Italy When I was in elementary school, every summer or winter vacation my cousins would come home in their cars, bringing back various presents. All the relatives, friends and neighbors would come over and our house would be full of people. Seeing how they all cast admiring gazes at my cousins, I felt very envious. At that time, I made a resolution to myself: “I must strive hard to achieve something in the future so that I can be outstanding like my cousins. I want to bring honor and glory to my ancestors, and lead an aristocratic lifestyle.” After working hard, I achieved modest success. After graduating from technical school, I was very lucky to find a job as an office clerk in a foreign company. In the beginning, I was secretly happy with myself: “No matter what, I now work in an office, so no one can deny that I’m a white-collar worker.” But I didn’t expect that because I had a low position and poor qualifications everyone else could boss me around in the office. My self-esteem was severely damaged, but my ambition was stimulated. I resolved to make other people look at me with new eyes through my own efforts. Therefore, I worked harder and spent all my spare time learning the company procedures and all about the products, and generally gaining professional proficiency. Every day, I worked from dawn to dusk, and I hardly took time off all year round. In five years, I practically went nowhere but the dormitory, canteen and office. Finally, my years of hard work paid off: I was promoted from ordinary office clerk to salesperson, then manufacturing manager, then purchasing supervisor, then imports and exports supervisor, and in the end I became an executive in the company and was admired and looked up to by others. Those who once despised me nodded and bowed in front of me. Such an achievement made me feel glorious and proud. But as I came into contact with more and more people, I saw that there were a great number of successful people who were richer and more powerful than me. Thus, my sense of satisfaction gradually faded. I thought: “Although I have gained a high position and the support and admiration of my colleagues, I’m still working for other people. As they say: ‘You have to be crazy to be highly successful.’ I’m still young; why don’t I start a business by myself? As the old saying goes: ‘People struggle to go upward, but water flows downward.’ I shouldn’t be content with my current situation, but should seek to progress.” Several years of work experience had given me enough faith and courage, so I quit the high-paying job as an executive to start my own business. Later on, I opened a store selling cosmetics of a famous brand. To fulfill the high performance targets I set for my company every month, I had to work out various marketing plans besides managing the store. No matter how many customers there were during the day, I always stayed in the store all the time and didn’t go home until very late at night. I had no holidays of my own. Sometimes I felt very tired, but at the thought of the success that was just around the corner, I would exert myself again and keep persisting. After a few years, I achieved a fair amount of success and made some money. Then I expanded my store, and bought a car and a house. All my relatives, classmates and neighbors around me cast gazes of admiration at me, and my parents were also proud of me. Sudden diseases left me in unbearable pain. Just when I was tirelessly busy with my business and enjoying a sense of achievement, I started to have some health problems. I often felt faint and had numbness in my hands. After having an examination in the hospital, I was surprised to learn that I actually had cervical spondylosis and periarthritis. The doctor said to me in a serious voice: “These diseases cannot be eradicated. The treatment can only help you relieve your pain. You must take good care of yourself, take more rest and avoid overworking. Otherwise, your diseases will get worse and worse. Though these diseasesaren’t deadly, they will influence your quality of life if they get serious. You are still young, so you must pay more attention to your health. If yourcondition goes on like this, you might get muscular atrophy, or even quadriplegia.” The doctor’s words made me think of those people I knew who suffered from cervical spondylosis or lumbar diseases. Both their work and quality of life were negatively influenced; some of them even seemed to be half- paralyzed and could do nothing. Thinking of all this, I felt very disheartened. I had never expected that I, who was barely 30, could get diseases which occur mainly among people in their 50s or 60s. When I was driving home, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down my face. Thinking back on all those years, I felt I was like a wound clock that ticked round and round and couldn’t stop. In the following days, I went to the hospital for treatment every few days. I tried all kinds of treatments to treat my cervical spondylosis and periarthritis, such as physical therapy, massage, cupping, acupuncture, traction and small needle-scalpel therapy. These treatments cost me a lot of money, but were of no help to me. On the contrary, they left a shadow on my mind: The sound of the acupuncture needles going in kept echoing in my head. Every time I went into the hospital, my heart would start pounding; when I thought of the pain brought by traction and acupuncture, my legs felt weak. Many times I thought: “I’ve built up my career and gained money and reputation through hard work, but my health is now ruined. I spent nearly half of my…